OK we have all experienced that fantastic date and the promise - "I'll call" - that never happens. You may sit and try to figure what you did wrong, or did he really say he would call. Other things such as game playing, tricks, and various four letter words to describe him float through your mind. Many times this several day wait will turn into frustration and then rejection - your rejection of him, and his of you. All this when nothing has even happened.
There can be various reasons why men don't call when they say they will. It can sometimes be as simple as being too busy at work, the extreme forgetfulness or in the worst case an intentional plan. Whatever the reasons, for a woman the whole situation can be quite unnerving and disastrous. Under extreme circumstances, the entire state of affairs can be very sad and even lead to breakups.
Today, some men may not have the social skills that you may consider normal. While they may have valid reasons for not calling after saying they will, they are unaware of the misunderstandings and misconceptions that can develop by not doing so. A simple nudge from a common friend may be enough to get a brief call to explain the situation that he may be uncomfortable explaining, and thereby relieving you of hurt feelings and several days of second guessing of what, if anything, you may have done wrong.
Although we all profess to not want to game play; until you become secure in any relationship it is automatic. A man may intentionally not call after saying he will to determine your reaction. With this knowledge on his side he can determine his importance in your life. Men are sensitive creatures and use all their powers to defend their feelings until they have a complete sense of security. These tests are fine at the beginning of a relationship but if they persist it becomes unacceptable behavior and should be treated as such.
Women too can play the game. You first need to determine the real importance to you of his call. If it was a first or second date that should be fairly easy. Later in a relationship is is easier to have hurt feelings. If a call was not made after a reasonable time - say several days - and then you receive one you may want to use voice mail as a buffer. Let the call be answered and don't return it for a couple of days yourself. At that point if you get his voice mail - no problem - just say things are hectic and give him a time to call you back. This agin is only for early relationships. If his behavior persists and after several dates he does not call regularly, it is best to move on and not waste your time. This type of man can be a constant headache.
Author Resource:
Julissa de Mayo is the principal and primary author for the Soulmate Blog . The Blog is an open website to read and discuss relationship issues with experts and others who may have experienced s similar problem. The Soulmate Blog is no-charge and open 24 hours a day seven days a week for your access.
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