But love isn't that simple . Fact is, there are more, less obvious subjects that men wish you'd reserve for your fiances. If you are wooing a fellow, never bring up the following five "turnoff subjects"
Turnoff subject 1 : all the lovable things your pet does.
We think of pets as noble beasts, as partners in excitement. Which makes it worrying when you start speaking baby talk to them. "Nipsy, wipsy. Your mommy loves you, oh, yes she does." Coddling a pet makes men suspect that your perfect companion is totally reliant upon you for food, allows you to dress him up in colourful wool sweaters, and can be castrated if he starts acting too frolicsome.
Turnoff topic 2 : your belief in alternative medicine.
I was speaking to a girl at a bar recently, and we were really connecting ... Till she started telling me about visits to her vitaminologist. "He told me I had happiness stuck in my bladder." irrespective of how critical you may feel it is to share your spiritual side, remember : When you let us know about your involvement with aromatherapy, reflexology, or crystals, all we hear isn't stable, unstable, unstable.
Turnoff subject 3 : How impressed you are with what others make.
I was out with my best friend, Greg, who goes to law college. We met one girl who started considering the bunch : "Oh, my goodness, there are such a lot of law-school men here tonight. You know, in their first year out of school they make $119,000!"
You do not have to persuade us that you're oblivious to material possessions. But ogling a man's salary check -- ours or someone else's -- makes us feel a bit like you are attaching our worth to our wallets. And we all know there's always going to be someone out there with deeper pockets than ours.
Turnoff subject 4 : How pretty the scenery is.
When challenged by natural beauty, men wish to contemplate it quietly. Women, for some unknown reason, feel compelled to talk at just the moment when we most desire quiet. I spent one week on a Mediterranean island with a group that contained four girls who never met a sunset they couldn't ruin. ( "That pink is so deep. I believe it's, like, the deepest pink I've ever seen." ) They did not get the joke when my chums and I tried to give them a little taste of their own medication : "Look at that water! It is simply, like, so wet."
Turnoff topic five : Who your favourite celebrities are dating.
Demi and Bruce break / make up ; Oprah gains / loses twenty pounds. We don't care . Pamela Lee opens her mouth real wide and accommodates all of Tommy's manhood? OK, we care. As a rule of thumb, unless they're naked, we don't want to know. Men have far too hard a time keeping up with their own relationships ; the last thing we want is the responsibility of keeping right up with the lives of folks we'll never meet.
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