We're always told that trust is essential to a relationship so when you suspect that your partner is lying to you, it's horribly frustrating. But there's one thing worse and that's when you know he or she is lying, but won't own up.
It is to be hoped that no couple will ever have to deal with this situation, but that would be idealistic at best. We'd all like to bask in the sunshine of mutual respect, love and honesty; but life's not always like that
But for those of us still living in the real world, where seemingly perfect and wonderful mates gets wasted and make out with strangers at bars and then lie about it, we might need a little help when trying to figure out if our partner is really spinning tall talesor if we're just being paranoid. Well, here's your quick-and-easy cheat sheet:
1. Your words are repeated back to you
One of the most reliable tell-tale signs of someone being less than honest is when they repeat what you've just asked them as a preface to their answer. Simply put, this gives them more time to concoct their lie. I got busted for this in my 3rd grade math class when the teacher told me that I didn't need to repeat the multiplication problem he had given me before giving my answerhe knew it was just my way of stalling. If you are grilling your sweetie about something you're sketchy about, and you feel like you're playing the copy cat game, you might have a problem.
2. Check their eyes
When it comes to pulling of a lie, eyes are the liar's biggest giveaway. If someone is inherently truthful, telling a lie is not a natural thing to do. It makes one anxious and the liar will want to avoid looking the person they're talking to in the eye. Chances are your partner will look anywhere but directly into your eyes when spinning his or her latest yarn. If their pupils are dilated it's a double whammy.
3. Inconsistency
Here's the dumbest thing ever: your boyfriend was out all night and you have it on good information that was up to no good. When asked about it, this must-think-I'm-an-idiot jerk changes his story, even just slightly, every time he goes over it again. I'm sorry but even if I'm stressed because I think my significant other doesn't believe me, or suspects me of something I know I haven't done, there's no way I'm going to just forget the truth.
What will happen when someone is telling the truth is that you'll be told the same thing over and over again. Because a truthful person will want you to believe them, so they'll repeat themselves ad nauseum until you do. If your guy or gal's story takes on a shape shifting quality, beware.
4. He/She becomes overly defensive
This one is all in how you approach it. If you go in with guns blazing (it's a metaphor!) you'll get an overly defensive reply which would make anyone look guilty. However, if your tone is reasonable and your partner is too defensive, he or she has something to hide. Using overly convincing language goes hand in hand with being too defensive. If you get both, there's more there than meets the eye.
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This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more helpful dating articles .