If you have had the opportunity to travel much, you will have undoubtedly stumbled across some of those people who have the knack of being rude and obnoxious, making the entire airline experience miserable for everyone around them, including the crew aboard the flight. Maybe your parents taught you differently, and explained that you should be considerate of your fellow passengers when you travel. If that’s the case, then you would need a few tips on how to become a rude traveler. So here are a few to get you started.
Never be prepared at the ticket counter
If you really want to cause trouble at the ticket counter, keep your photo ID in your billfold until the last possible second. Forget about the fact that there is probably a long line of people waiting behind you. Whine for a little while to the ticket agent that you aren’t getting an aisle seat, in spite of the fact that you didn’t make a reservation until two days before the flight. If you are checking luggage, make sure that one of the pieces weighs more than 50 pounds, so you’ll have the opportunity to open it up and remove a few items before the airline can accept it. All of these little actions take extra time, which will test the patience of everyone anxious to check in.
Never be prepared at the security check in.
Even though there are about a gazillion signs instructing you to remove your shoes and take your laptop computer out of its case before going through the metal detector, just ignore them, and wait until you receive those same directions verbally from the security agent behind the x ray machine. Again, paying no attention to the rules is another way of slowing the process down for everyone.
When boarding the plane, act like you’re the only one that matters.
As you finally board your flight, make sure to carry your computer bag over your shoulder as you work your way down the aisle. This way, it has a chance to hit the face of about everyone already seated. If you are assigned to a middle seat, but find that the aisle seat in your row is vacant, go ahead and sit there, and make the true owner ask you to move when he/she finally arrives. Talk on your cell phone as long as you can, until a crew member has to personally confront you about turning it off.
During the flight, spread out a little bit.
In spite of the fact that airplane cabins are typically a place to find a lot of people in a small space, make yourself comfortable. Use both of the arm rests on the seat, making the other guy fold his elbows in like a contortionist. Stretch out your legs so that one of your feet is usually in the middle of the aisle.
Talk to someone who seems completely disinterested.
Forget about the notion that some people would like to take the hours spent on the flight to sleep or just read a novel. Strike up a conversation about your grandchildren, your last fishing trip, or how much you hate the guy in the next cubicle at work. Pay no attention to the fact that your fellow passenger is not responding to your dissertation. Just keep talking throughout the whole trip.
Follow these hints, and you ll be famous during your next flight.