Divorce can be the most painful and devastating things you may endure in your life. The emotional, financial and social complications that can be caused by the sudden separation of a family can certainly turn your life upside down. While divorce is often challenging and unpleasant for both husband and wife, it may be considerably worse for children that may be involved.
While there is some debate over how divorce impacts children, several studies show that for a child, divorce can be similar to the pain from the passing of a parent. In many cases it is a period of great loss, grief, hopelessness and turmoil for children. Many children instinctively blame themselves for the divorce. They assume that the parent that left doesn't love them anymore. Unfortunately, parents are often so engrossed in their own pain or problems they can not see the damaging effects of divorce on children.
Divorce can affect children in a variety of ways. Children of divorce can have more problems in school with behavior problems and often have low self confidence. They also have more problems relating to peers and find it harder to get along with their own parents. This behavior is usually a cry for help and attention from their parents.
The breakdown of the family unit due to divorce is usually a harrowing experience for children. The family unit is a key element of stability for small children. Mom and dad play a vital role the lives of their children. They provide psychological support, love, and teach them critical life skills. It is very important that this continues throughout the divorce process.
Studies indicate that in adult women, parental divorce is associated with greater alcohol and drug use, decrease self-esteem, promiscuity and difficulty maintaining long term relationships. Girls may experience the emotional loss of daddy as a reflection of their worth as a person. They sometimes believe it is a rejection of them and thus internalize it.
It is very important to recognize signs of low self-esteem or depression in your child. You may discover your child is becoming more isolated from peers and family. They might not want to take part in some of the activities that once brought them satisfaction. Additionally you may discover that your child has recurrent bouts of insomnia. These and other symptoms may increase when they feel abandoned or experience painful occurrences during and following the divorce.
It is up to the parents to help their children deal with their feelings throughout this unstable time. Many individuals experience economical challenges caused by having to sustain two households. In some cases you may be forced to move to more affordable housing arrangements. However, birthdays, holidays and anniversaries can be particularly challenging to cope with because they will often be filled with fond memories of family spending quality time together. It is very important to try and maintain as much stability and familiarity in the lives of your children as possible. This tends to go a long way in lessening the amount of psychological damage that getting a divorce with children can cause.
In any circumstance where a child will encounter significant disruptions in their life, it is crucial for both parents to be sensible and concentrate on what is best for the child first. Working together towards this common goal will give you and your children the best prospects for happiness in the foreseeable future.