If you have reason to believe that you could get your girlfriend back, that is good news! If you've already been working hard at it, you might already have established communication with her and talked about a few things. But have you talked about the right thing?
1. Why Your Habits are so Important
Generally, couples trying to get back together talk at length about the issues they have with each other's character, personality and ideas, and try to resolve the most contentious points. Obviously, it is very important and it helps a great deal, but chances are that the breach in the relationship didn't start solely with conflicts and clashes on the big issues. Your little, routine habits that you usually don't even think about, may have had an equal part to play. A relationship contains the sum of hundreds of hours and days spent together, so, if you have a routine habit that irritates your partner, just do the math: one little irritation compounded relentlessly, hundreds of times. Can you imagine the accumulated irritation! Naturally, the day will come when it will be the last straw on the camel's back. So, if it is your partner who broke up with you, rest assured that there are little things about your behavior pattern that irritate her.
2. Listen to Her
Even if you think you know what habits irritate her, talk to her and hear it from her. There may be something that you may never have guessed, or even something that she used to like at one point of time, but finally started to get irritated with. Perhaps it is the kind of jokes you crack, the way you talk or the indifference you show at the breakfast table. If you want to get your girlfriend back, you must be prepared to listen and make changes.
3. Not One-Way Traffic
When your girlfriend sees your initiative to talk to her and make those little changes, she will appreciate and respect you all the more. However, remember that no relationship is one-way traffic. Perhaps you too have had to bear habits that you didn't like. It may be a good time to share it with her. The ideal situation will be if both of you are prepared to make some adjustments and are willing to help and cooperate with each other. You will feel yourselves re-establishing your bond, and you may just get your girlfriend back very soon.
Trying to flatter your girlfriend by bending over backwards is a recipe for long-term disaster, because it is impossible to sustain that kind of behavior. Two people can only last happily with each other as long as they have the space and flexibility to express themselves. You can't live in a straight jacket, so don't try. If there is a particular adjustment that you can't implement the way she wants, put it across to her gently and calmly. She may have such limitations to share as well. Essentially, if you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, you both will have to be prepared to do a little bit of give and take.
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