Getting over a relationship can be difficult even if you're the one that ended it. Often, we become comfortable with someone if we've been with that person for a long time. Even if we weren't happy there are still aspects of the relationship that we miss.
There are many emotional issues that you must face when getting over a relationship. There were emotional needs being met that you might not even be aware of. As an example, you might not like being alone. Although you knew that the two of you were headed in different directions, you miss having someone there on a day-to-day basis. This can usually be resolved by keeping your mind busy and focusing on doing things that you enjoy.
If you were not the one that ended the relationship, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and not being good enough. This is usually why people are upset at the end of a relationship. Getting over a relationship is not so much about love as it is dealing with feelings of rejection or failure. This is self destructive and can keep you in a state of mourning for the relationship. If you realize that the breakup is not a negative reflection on you as a person but more of a sign of growth or change, it becomes much easier to accept.
When someone has difficulty getting over a relationship, it is usually a result of poor self-esteem. Your former partner may have made you feel good about yourself and gave you confidence. You need to learn how to be confident on your own without needing validation from someone else. Even in the most abusive relationships, a person might still pine for what was, not recognizing just how unhappy they really were.
Many are surprised to find that although they think they're upset about not being with their former partner anymore, the real issue is that they feel bad about themselves. They often wonder if they'll find anyone else, and often settle for less simply because they feel they don't deserve better. Getting over a relationship becomes much easier when you recognize why you really feel bad. This way you can address the problem head on and deal with your insecurities in an objective way.
The bottom line is, if you want to be successful in getting over a relationship, you have to identify what it is you really miss about not having that person in your life. In most cases it's not the person or the relationship, but the negative view that a breakup can give you of yourself. Dealing with these negative thoughts and feelings will pave the way to a brighter and happier future.
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