As much attention as is paid to the other parts of a wedding, it is the exchange of vows that is the most meaningful moment of the whole day. Many couples would like to personalize their vows rather than relying on the standard ones, but have no idea how to begin. These tips on customizing your wedding vows will make it a piece of cake for you to write words that will be meaningful and memorable.
A great place to start the process of customizing your wedding vows is by reflecting on why you want to say something different. Are you simply a person who prefers things that are unique, such as a cupcake tower or handcrafted wedding jewelry, rather than standard things that everyone uses for their weddings? Or maybe you feel like the old fashioned vows do not speak to your contemporary views. It could be that you want to say the words that will truly express the depth of your love for your intended. Some couples also like the idea of introducing a touch of levity to the vow exchange, believing that humor is an important part of their relationship. Whatever your personal reason, identifying it will help you set an intention before you sit down to right; with a goal in mind, you will be much better focused.
With an intention in mind, you will be ready to start customizing your vows. If you keep a few basic rules in mind, it will help you a lot along the way. The point of adding your own words to your wedding ceremony is to express something personal, so avoid cliched phrases that are no more unique than the standard vows. On the other hand, a wedding is a ceremonial event, and a bit of reserve is called for; in other words, make your vows personal, but not too personal. Never say anything that would embarrass your fiance or any of the guests, especially the grandparents. Risque jokes or naughty innuendos are always a bad idea in wedding vows.
Feel free to include quotes from your favorite authors, poets, and songwriters. Authors that honor your cultural heritage can also be a meaningful inclusion. For instance, if you have chosen Claddagh rings as your wedding jewelry, choose a lovely quote from an Irish poet. This can be a great base upon which to build, especially if you are not accustomed to writing. Use the quote as a starting point, and frame it with your own words to make it more personal. Consider the source from which you are borrowing; no matter how sweet the words, if they are lyrics from a well known corny song, you are as likely to get chuckles from the guests as expressions of joy.
If you are comfortable with it, include a brief (brief being the operative word) anecdote in your vows. It could be something sweet about how you first met or how much you admired your intended from afar before getting up the nerve to approach him or her. Consider the context of your memory. For instance, if you met the bride at church, that could be a nice thing to include, but if you first saw her at a wet t shirt contest on spring break, well, you might just want to leave that bit out!
Writing your own vows can be an intimidating task at first, but once you get started, you will likely be very happy with all of the special touches you are able to include in your ceremony. Remember, too, that it is perfectly acceptable to add just a few personal lines into the traditional wedding ceremony if you do not feel up to the job of penning totally original vows. Whichever way you decide to go, the results of customizing your wedding vows will be very special.
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