If you are looking to sustain a healthy relationship you must understand that there are many things that can cause a strain on a relationship, but one of the most common ones is when a person feels that their partner is almost incapable of being properly sensitive to their needs from a relationship. There may be a lot of times when you expect your boyfriend to show more concern for you, or just be there for you, or even be especially caring, but he just doesn't seem to 'get it.' He seems to be self-centered rather than sensitive, and you feel like it is almost impossible to sustain a healthy relationship with him. However, don't give up hope just yet. There is a lot you can do to save your relationship.
Understanding His Mindset
To begin with, understand why he is the way he is. People who have grown up in dysfunctional families, those who are not used to sharing or even those who have not been in a proper relationship before may just not have the skill of being perceptive and sensitive to their partner's needs. Such sensitivity is not simply a natural ability that you either have or don't have. Rather, it is an acquired skill and you need to find the opportunity to learn it from your environment. Consider the fact that your boyfriend is neither unconcerned about you, and nor does he mean to hurt you. Perhaps he has just not acquired that skill of sensitivity.
Be More Communicative
If you think that this may actually be the case, you can help your boyfriend do better by being more communicative. Share with him what your needs and expectations are, and what are the things you would like him to be more perceptive about. Most importantly, you need to talk to him calmly so that he takes this positively, rather than feeling like you are criticizing or accusing him. Naturally, teaching your partner to be perceptive is not the most romantic thing you could do, but it is incomparably better than fighting and getting upset. In the long run, it will even improve the bond you share.
Set a Good Example
Apart from talking to him, it is also important to set the right example of the kind of behavior you expect. Let him see that you are sensitive and perceptive where his needs are concerned. However, when you are in an angry or reproachful mood, don't use your actions as an example of just how useless he is as compared to you. this will only make him grudge you, and he may also back away and be hesitant, the next time you are trying to be sensitive.
At the end of the day, a positive outlook is absolutely essential. Rather than giving up on him, you've got to believe that you can sustain a healthy relationship with your boyfriend. Talk to him, be open with him and keep your behavior calm. Couples who communicate well with each other generally find that it is quite easy to get their partner to understand them and cooperate with them, the first step towards sustaining a health relationship.
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