Over the years, I've ascertained that there are really only a modest number of actual deal breakers in relationships. Unlike such, most problems between couples are really a matter of their failure to learn from and improve upon the conflicts that arise in the relationship. True deal breakers, on the other hand, are like barriers that will usually lead to the end of a relationship regardless of the love felt among the two individuals. In other words, when overlooked at the commencement of the relationship, these barriers will return later to "terrorize" the couple sooner or later, usually resulting in a struggle that almost never can be resolved to the contentment of both partners.
Here are two examples of such relationship deal breakers:
Having Kids
Let's say we have a man named, Mark whom has been married earlier in the past, and he is the proud dad of two amazing kids whom are nearly grown. He tests out the online dating scene one day, and meets a single woman with appealing potential named Janet. She is somewhat younger than he, and has never been married herself. Though she has no children of her own up to now, she wants nothing more than to enjoy the experience of motherhood.
Early on in their blossoming relationship, Mark makes it clear that he has no interest or intention of having any additional kids. Janet, wanting to be supportive and agreeable in her most fitting efforts to remain appealing to her new found love, seems to respect Mark's position voluntarily. However, secretly, Janet hopes that she can persuade Mark to change his stance later on in the relationship.
After having been together for a significant amount of time, and feeling like it's time for the next step in her life and her relationship with Mark, Janet reveals her aspiration to have kids to Mark. Shocked by her "acute" change of mind, Mark cant help but somehow feel lied to. Obviously, he adamantly stands by his original opinion. To Janet, the idea of never having the chance to have children of her own, to never experience the joy of parenthood is simply inadmissible. As you can likely tell, this hypothetical relationship doesn't have a gleeful ending.
The aspiration to have children can be one of the biggest deal breakers in relationships. No one should be counted upon to abandon their desire to father or mother kids of their own. Yet, neither can someone whom has no interest in having children be expected to "give in" in order to exhibit his or her love for their partner either. The idea of having kids should always be voiced openly and honestly early on in a love relationship.
The Desire Of A Promising Career
Let's take a look at another couple's synopsis. Let's say, for instance, the two individuals in our next couple are almost the same age. They each also mutually agree on the significance of having careers that make each of them satisfied. Everything seems to line up well between them, and they even share an intense aspiration to have and raise kids some day.
Hurrying in the door after work one day, Rob can scarcely hold back his enthusiasm as he tells his wife Sarah that he has some terrific news! He has been offered a huge opportunity in his career, one which he couldn't possibly imagine passing up. It is his "dream job" in every aspect. Sadly, in order for him to take the job, he'll be required to move over a thousand miles away to a different state.
To deepen matters, his wife now owns her own lucrative business, a small but profitable thrift store situated in their current home town. She absolutely loves being her own boss, but more importantly, the store was left to her by her deceased mother. She simply couldn't imagine giving it up or even moving its location. The idea of commuting to and from work is simply out of the question for Rob as well. Remember, they both aspire to raise a family some day, and they agree that him being away from home so much just wouldn't be practical.
Even when two individuals love one another completely, different career paths can be unfortunate deal breakers in relationships. In this scenario, both Rob and Sarah loved one another, yet they both knew that for either to have to give up their career to compromise would only create resentment later that would ultimately end the relationship anyway. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, our second couple parted ways much like the first.
Both of these examples could have been avoided with some better communication. Of course, the world is an inconstant place. People change. Their goals, values, and needs can always change. And, not every potential deal breaker can necessarily be avoided easily.
Author Resource:
Not all relationship problems are deal breakers. To discover more about what is a healthy relationship , visit: http://www.readintoyourrelationship.com
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