The Beginning
When you were first in love, everything was great and rosy. It is all about us, not you and me. It was a joyous time; unfortunately it does not last forever. After some time had elapsed the ego begins to creep back in. You begin to notice your partner's faults, and will call attention to them. Your partner in return also will begin to call attention to your faults. In this way the vicious circle begins.
Conflict
What is your reaction to being criticized? You will defend yourself, of course. At first you will just explain yourself, but after a while you will defend in a tone of voice that is less than pleasant. As a consequence your partner will reinforce the criticism in a very emphatic manner, and if you don't shut up a fight will ensue. Exactly the same thing will happen when you decide to criticize your partner.
Projection
All criticism is the result of projection, that is, you project an unfavorable image onto the other person and attack it. So you should know when you are criticized it is an image that is being attacked and not you. The thing to do is let it slide. If it is a misunderstanding then explain in a cool and calm manner. As if it does not matter. If the explanation is not accepted (more often than not) then let it go at that. Yes, it does not matter!
When you want to criticize another person you must realize if it is something in you that you do not like and is seeing it in another person. If it is something that needs to be pointed out then point it out. There is a difference in pointing out something and criticizing. It is in your intent, which your tone of voice will reflect. Practice and know the difference.
Resolution
No relationship will last without tolerance and acceptance. See yourself in the other shoe. You will then gain more understanding. With more understanding you will start to accept more and more. Your partner will change too when you change, but you must take the initiative. Get away from the mode of thinking that is consistently looking for faults. Remember, it does not matter. What matters is the love between the both of you. Are you concentrating on that often?
Look back and see what mistakes you have made, resolved not to make them again.
Author Resource:
If you are suffering from a breakup know that you can make your ex want you back and you don't even have to ask how to heal a broken heart.
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