Raising teens can be one of the most difficult jobs you will ever have, but I promise you, your teen still needs you. It might seem like your teen is independent, freethinking and ready to be on his or her own, but in order for your teen to learn to become a good decision maker and develop habits that will see him or her through life, you need to be a guide, actively finishing the parenting job by raising your teens to adulthood. In fact, I would say that as much emphasis as there is on being available for the formative years of your children s young life, more emphasis needs to be placed on being there for your teens and actively raising teens well past the end of the teen years.
Raising teens is different than raising younger children, and your approach needs to adjust with the age, maturity, and responsibility level of your teen. For some, the parenting efforts may be more stressful and hands on than for others. It is important, however, that even with the most responsible and mature teens, you do not assume that they are capable of doing without parental influence.
The wiring in your teen s brain makes it literally impossible for him or her to make decisions in the same way that an older adult would. The teen brain is wired for pleasure and thrill seeking, not for unemotional or logical response. It is through raising teens that you help make those decision making connections that your teen needs to start making decisions from a more controlled brain space.
Ideally, when your teen is confronted with the need to make a decision, you will be able to allow him or her to make the decision with guidance and input from you. A careful balance is required when raising teens; you do not want to be too overbearing and force your teen to accept your decision and you do not want to be too hands off and let your teen travel a dangerous path.
To get your teen to the point where he or she can make decisions and manage his or her own life successfully, encourage your teen to talk about decisions. Walk him or her through the decision making process. Teach your teen to ask questions and seek answers and have information before making decisions. There are many opportunities throughout your teens life where you can help your teen learn to be a better decision maker, from situations that occur with friends and relationships to decisions made about major purchases your teen is making (a first car, electronics).
Raising teens also requires you to understand when to let go. You have to allow your teen to take some risks and make some mistakes along the way. You cannot protect your teen from everything. That is probably the most difficult part about raising teens, is allowing them to make some painful mistakes. You can, however, provide an example of maturity and responsibility to your teen in the way you approach decisions in your life. When your teens see you weighing options, obtaining needed information, asking questions, and using caution, they will learn to do the same.
Author Resource:
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. To learn more go to http://www.parentingtodaysteenager.com/
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