Even though your relationship hit trouble and you had to experience the pain of a break up, it is possible to get your ex back, and the most important thing is that you believe in that possibility! However, to achieve that you need to be prepared to take a hard step, and that is of looking past your own feelings. If you simply express the way you feel to your ex, without considering what he/she is going through, you will struggle to revive your relationship. Here are some clues to how your partner is probably feeling at the moment, and the things you should never do.
1. Being Persistent
You are missing your partner and are anxious to get back with them. Your strong feelings seem to be urging you to constantly call them, communicate with them, and try to persuade and convince them that this relationship is worth another shot. However, if you really want to get back with your ex, this kind of persistence, just when he/she wants to get away from you, will come across as irritating and stifling. You need to give your ex some space right now, and respect their right to be away from you.
Try to think from the point of view of your ex, who is probably feeling frustrated with the relationship right now. However, if you decide that it is the right time to get back in touch, do so gently. Be sensitive to your partner's needs and don't force decisions on them. If you can come across as sensitive, understanding and caring at this stage, it could do wonders for your relationship, and in all likelihood, it won't be long before you get back with your ex.
2. Saying Anything...
In your desperation, you may feel the urge to say anything to get your ex back. Overwhelmed by emotions, people make drastic promises and commitments, which they eventually cannot live up to. The worst part is that your ex, in the mood he/she is in, is unlikely to believe your desperate and drastic promises. It will only add to their irritation and show you in a poor light.
In any case, promising to change yourself completely is not the right way to revive your relationship. What you both need is the capability and willingness to accept each other for what you are, and the sensitivity to respect each other's needs. Desperate attempts to change only lead to grudges in the long run.
3. Emotionally Leaning on Your Ex
Even though your relationship has failed, it is likely that you both still lean on each other emotionally out of habit. This is very common, especially amongst partners who have been with each other for a long time. However, if you want to get your ex back, it is important you stop leaning on them.
Discovering self-reliance is crucial for you both emotionally and psychologically. Besides, strong dependence is not attractive, and if you want to revive your relationship, what you need is for your partner to feel attracted to you once again. They need to see that you are strong and capable and able to handle yourself. Your partner also needs to see that if they value the bond they share with you, they need to commit to this relationship.
If you can avoid these common mistakes, there is no reason why you cannot get your ex back.
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