Balance is a very commonly used word, yet it is a crucial one if you want to save your relationship. A lot of couples going down the rocky road will find that they have either ignored or failed at achieving 'relationship balance'. So, what is this phrase? It refers to three different kinds of balance, each of which is essential for a successful relationship. Read on to find out what these three kinds of balance are, and how you can revive your relationship.
Your Choices and Behavior Patterns, and Your Partner's Needs
We all have ideas about things and lifestyle choices that work best for us. Perhaps you are the kind of person who likes to stay up late, listen to music on Sunday afternoons and have blue walls in your room. Now all that would be just fine, if you were out on your own. However, considering that you are with a partner and wish to save your relationship, you must be prepared for a little bit of give and take.
So, if you partner hates blue on walls, forget it and try to find a color that is mutually acceptable. Also, if they like to sleep before you, while you want to watch TV, do so in another room or in a way that does not disturb them. This does not just apply to couples who are married or living together. Even while you are dating, you may find that adjustments are necessary on both ends to revive your relationship.
Adjustment also becomes crucial when there are conflicting personality traits involved. Take the classic case when you are laid back and your partner is extremely proactive. You will both need to accept that you cannot change each other's personality around, and then make your best effort to be accommodating and bring about constructive changes.
Dependence and Independence
If you are struggling to revive your relationship, it means that one of you is struggling to balance these two qualities. If you are constantly dependent on your partner for emotional support, decision making and going out, and have conveyed the impression that you can't go on a minute without them, it is likely that they are feeling stifled and trapped. Men commonly feel this way, when the women in their lives make too many demands on them. In order to save your relationship, you need to discover some independence and strike a balance.
Speaking and Listening
This is hardly a point that needs elaboration. Yet it is surprising that for everyone who knows the theory, how few actually apply it. When you get into emotionally driven fights and arguments, the first thing that happens is your receptive powers go. When your ears are not responding, you can forget about trying to save your relationship. It is important that you give each other the opportunity to express your ideas about the relationship, when you are both in a calm frame of mind.
One great way to revive your relationship is if you both take ten minutes each to express your ideas about the relationship, without interruption, and then follow this up with a twenty minute dialogue, where the emphasis is on finding constructive solutions to your problems.
If you are prepared to make a sincere effort, you will be able to balance these three factors and save your relationship.
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