Divorce: Contempt Of Court And How To Avoid It

Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen

Contempt of court is serious. A judge can fine you, make you pay attorney's fees for the other side, or even send you to jail for not obeying an order. Even if you feel you have grounds for not doing what the judge has said because things have changed since he / she ruled on the matter, you are legally bound to follow his / her decree until he / she officially changes his / her mind. If you feel the court's order is unfair under the circumstances, there are a few things you ought to consider before doing anything different.

1. Is the judge's order unreasonable, or just inconvenient? Do you think your ex's visitation times should be changed because he / she has moved so far away that it is harder to transport the children, or is it genuinely an impossible situation? If, for instance, your spouse's move has caused you to have to travel one or two extra hours to take or retrieve your kids, you'd better reconcile yourself to putting in the miles until you can get back into court. If, however, the move means you have to miss work to do your end of the driving, because the other parent has moved 10 hours away, you will probably be forgiven for not following the current order to the letter.

In that event, talk to the other parent about making different visitation arrangements until you can get into court. Maybe you and he / she can work something out that relieves the frequency of the visits, or makes the driving less onerous. Some people just meet half way, or if the kids are old enough, consider public transportation. In fact, if you and he /she can talk logically about the situation, you may be able to change the court's order by agreement.

2. Is your concern based on provable facts? Too many times, I have had clients who were ready to spend the money and time to go to court to address something "my neighbor said" or "my kids told me". Before you act on what someone has said to you, investigate. Talk to your ex if the neighbor says your kids are out all hours of the night without supervision. Make sure the beating your 12 year old reports her little brother got was real. Check him for bruises. Talk to the other parent before you call the police or welfare department. There may be a logical explanation. Maybe the little fellow got a well deserved spanking. Maybe he fell while he was playing.

In any event, you have history with the other parent, and know whether he / she is prone to be abusive. Let your common sense be your guide before you involve the court in your children's lives.

3. Is the situation temporary? Before you spend the money to try to get your child support lowered, decide if your financial woes will be of short duration, or are going to last for a very long time. If you have lost your job, but have plenty of savings or unemployment compensation, you may do well to wait before bringing your situation to a judge. If you have been out of work for a few months, but have been diligently looking for new employment, the court will be a lot more sympathetic than if you want to lower your child support at the first threat of a lay off. Again, a conversation with your ex about the situation could go a long way towards temporarily easing your stress. Maybe he / she would consider taking a cut until your finances improve. You could agree to make up the difference later when you have more money, and have a better idea of how your future finances will be.

Before you rely on anything you and your ex discuss, make sure your agreement is in writing. If you show up in court with a verbal agreement, the judge is not likely to be impressed. Your ex could deny that any agreement had ever been reached, and the court would have to base its contempt decision on whether you had technically breached its previous order. If you and he / she do reach an agreement, make sure you both sign it, and that you leave space for a judge's signature . You can send it to the judge for his / her approval. This is because if he / she doesn't sign it, it has no legal effect. In addition, make sure you send enough signed duplicates of your agreement for you and your ex to each have copies. This way, you and he / she may be able to save attorney's fees and lots of grief.

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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC '-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN' 'http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd'><html><head><title>Look For Articles - Articles Directory | Divorce: Contempt Of Court And How To Avoid It</title></head><body><h3>Divorce: Contempt Of Court And How To Avoid It</h3><br><br> By: Lucille Uttermohlen<br><br><p><p>Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen</P><p>Contempt of court is serious. A judge can fine you, make you pay attorney's fees for the other side, or even send you to jail for not obeying an order. Even if you feel you have grounds for not doing what the judge has said because things have changed since he / she ruled on the matter, you are legally bound to follow his / her decree until he / she officially changes his / her mind. If you feel the court's order is unfair under the circumstances, there are a few things you ought to consider before doing anything different.</P><p>1. Is the judge's order unreasonable, or just inconvenient? Do you think your ex's visitation times should be changed because he / she has moved so far away that it is harder to transport the children, or is it genuinely an impossible situation? If, for instance, your spouse's move has caused you to have to travel one or two extra hours to take or retrieve your kids, you'd better reconcile yourself to putting in the miles until you can get back into court. If, however, the move means you have to miss work to do your end of the driving, because the other parent has moved 10 hours away, you will probably be forgiven for not following the current order to the letter.</P><p>In that event, talk to the other parent about making different visitation arrangements until you can get into court. Maybe you and he / she can work something out that relieves the frequency of the visits, or makes the driving less onerous. Some people just meet half way, or if the kids are old enough, consider public transportation. In fact, if you and he /she can talk logically about the situation, you may be able to change the court's order by agreement.</P><p>2. Is your concern based on provable facts? Too many times, I have had clients who were ready to spend the money and time to go to court to address something "my neighbor said" or "my kids told me". Before you act on what someone has said to you, investigate. Talk to your ex if the neighbor says your kids are out all hours of the night without supervision. Make sure the beating your 12 year old reports her little brother got was real. Check him for bruises. Talk to the other parent before you call the police or welfare department. There may be a logical explanation. Maybe the little fellow got a well deserved spanking. Maybe he fell while he was playing.</P><p>In any event, you have history with the other parent, and know whether he / she is prone to be abusive. Let your common sense be your guide before you involve the court in your children's lives.</P><p>3. Is the situation temporary? Before you spend the money to try to get your child support lowered, decide if your financial woes will be of short duration, or are going to last for a very long time. If you have lost your job, but have plenty of savings or unemployment compensation, you may do well to wait before bringing your situation to a judge. If you have been out of work for a few months, but have been diligently looking for new employment, the court will be a lot more sympathetic than if you want to lower your child support at the first threat of a lay off. Again, a conversation with your ex about the situation could go a long way towards temporarily easing your stress. Maybe he / she would consider taking a cut until your finances improve. You could agree to make up the difference later when you have more money, and have a better idea of how your future finances will be.</P><p>Before you rely on anything you and your ex discuss, make sure your agreement is in writing. If you show up in court with a verbal agreement, the judge is not likely to be impressed. Your ex could deny that any agreement had ever been reached, and the court would have to base its contempt decision on whether you had technically breached its previous order. If you and he / she do reach an agreement, make sure you both sign it, and that you leave space for a judge's signature . You can send it to the judge for his / her approval. This is because if he / she doesn't sign it, it has no legal effect. In addition, make sure you send enough signed duplicates of your agreement for you and your ex to each have copies. This way, you and he / she may be able to save attorney's fees and lots of grief.<br></P></p> <br><br> <b>Author Resource:-></b>  Lucille Uttermohlen has been a family law attorney for 27 years. She has written a number of articles about divorce and other couple related issues. For more information and free downloads, visit Lucille at <A href="http://www.couple-or-not.com/">http://www.couple-or-not.com</A> If you have questions about the law, or relationship issues, write to Lucille at lucille@utter-law.com.<br><br><br><b>Article From</b> <a href='http://www.look4articles.com/'>Look For Articles - Articles Directory</a><br></body></html>