It is inevitable when planning a wedding that disagreements are going to arise between the bride and her mother. They may be generational, lifestyle, budgetary, religious, or all of the above. It is important to find a way to compromise (or to stand your ground graciously) so that that everyone in the family is still on speaking terms by the time the wedding day rolls around. Here are some tips to help brides deal with common wedding disagreements.
Scenario No. 1: You and your friends all love a great party and your mom thinks drinking is wrong. Although alcohol is served at most weddings, there are some people who think it is a terrible idea, usually due to religious beliefs or past struggles with alcohol. This is an area where sometimes a middle ground can be found between the two sides. Maybe your mom is worried less about people having a glass of Champagne for toasting and more about the younger generation getting drunk and rowdy. Perhaps you can agree that only wine will be served at the reception, and then the newlyweds and their friends can have an after party later. Be sure to take the comfort of non drinkers in mind, and offer sparkling grape juice for toasting. Of course, if your mom is paying for the wedding and insists on an absolute ban on alcohol, there is not too much you can do about it.
Scenario No. 2: Your mom wants to see you wear a traditional long sleeve wedding gown with her strand of pearls. You imagine yourself in a trendy one shoulder dress with modern crystal bridal jewelry. This is one that really has to go to the bride. If you do not like your dress, you will feel miserable wearing it on your wedding day. However, there can be some ways to appease a traditional mom. For instance, you might agree to wear the modern dress with a little jacket for the ceremony. Her pearl necklace could be worn with some fabulous crystal crystal bridal jewelry such as pearl and Swarovski chandelier earrings. Do your best to make your mom feel respected, but also make sure that when you put on your entire wedding ensemble that you feel gorgeous.
Scenario No. 3: Budget conflicts. It is really, really easy to spend a huge sum of money on a wedding in the blink of an eye. And yet, when your parents are paying for the wedding, they will likely have in mind what they consider to be a reasonable budget. This is one dispute that has to go to the parents. Even if you think that your parents idea of what a wedding should cost is hopelessly outdated, you cannot in fairness ask them to spend more than they can afford. Your best bet is to find a way to work within their budget or to make up the shortfall with your own money if you can.
Scenario No. 4: You and your fiance are paying for the wedding but your mom wants control anyway. The engaged couple has to get the final say in this type of wedding dispute, since they are footing the bill. This is not to say, however, that your mother s suggestions should not be graciously accepted. If possible, find a way to use at least a few of her ideas, even if they may not be the way in which you would have done it. And if your parents are giving you a hard time about the cost of your wedding, feel free to answer any snippy, Well how much did that cost?! , with a pleasant, Oh, not too much. .
With these tips in mind, you should be able to handle most wedding issues which crop up in a graceful manner. In most cases, as long as your mom can see that you respect and value her opinion, she will be more accepting when you decide to do things your own way. After all, she wants you to be happy on your wedding day.
Author Resource:
Bridget Mora writes for Silverland Jewelry about weddings, relationships, and etiquette. You will be amazed by the gorgeous collection of crystal bridal jewelry at http://silverlandjewelry.com/ . Visit today and receive free shipping on all jewelry orders over $99!
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