When we look at what attracts us to another person it often it takes the form of a qualities of various kinds. It might be beauty, strength, confidence, kindness and so on. Of course physical attraction comes into it too, but even that can be a representation of different qualities. Different body types are like art exhibits expressing a collection of qualities.
If I am attracted to someone's beauty, then in a way, I am looking for a relationship with beauty as a quality. If I am attracted to someone's confidence then it could be said that I am looking for a relationship with confidence.
What is the source of all the various qualities? Well, one name we can give the source of the different qualities that we find in ourselves and others is 'the Soul'. In a way therefore, when we look for a relationship of any kind it boils down to looking for a relationship with Soul.
We have a natural and very healthy tendency to look to deepen our lives and to make them meaningful. That is why we are attracted to qualities because they give expression to the nature of the Soul. It is having a relationship with the Soul that gives life meaning.
We have another tendency, which does not always serve us so well, which is to look for those qualities of Soul in other people rather than acknowledging them in ourselves. Maybe if I have a better relationship with the quality of 'beauty' in my own Soul I will not feel so desperate to find that in another person. I will still be able to acknowledge it and honor it in other people, but I won't 'need' them so much.
In other words, if I deny the quality of 'beauty' in myself (because I only tend to think of myself as a particular body type, or because I feel ugly and unworthy) then I am setting myself up to hunger for it. I will then be tempted to feel that I can only be fulfilled by other people.
It is healthy to acknowledge our inner hunger for a deeper, richer and more meaningful life. It is also healthy to look to the true nature of that hunger and not assume that we are so dependent on others to fulfill it. If I hunger for something maybe it is because I am denying myself the right to express it.
In a way, when I am romancing another person I am really romancing the Soul. I am trying to draw more of the Soul's qualities into my life. However, whatever I do in relation to others, it is important to remember that as Souls we have the capacity to express all qualities. I can find and express the qualities of beauty or strength from within myself whatever my body type.
Perhaps we need to have a date with our own Soul? Maybe we can take in interest in it. Maybe we can find ways to charm it. What kind of art or music brings it into our life (and what kind chases it away!)? What is the real Soul Music? What kind of activities attracts the Soul? What kind of thinking and feeling?
Maybe if we establish a relationship with our Soul we will even find out its purpose. Maybe then we will discover the mystery of our lives and why we were born. If we do not create a relationship with our Soul, how will we possibly come to know this?
Could be that this is the ultimate romance: to win the love and approval of our own Soul. Perhaps it is what we have really been looking for all this time.
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