If you've ever wanted to text your ex back after a breakup, then you already know it's not always easy figuring out what to say. You get your phone out, start pushing buttons, and then your mind suddenly gets filled with fear, doubts, and insecurities.
You start thinking about things like:
. If I text my ex the wrong thing will it scare him or her away for good?
. Should I apologize for something I did wrong?
. Should I just say "Hi"?
. If they don't respond will it make me even more anxious and upset?
. Am I giving in too easily by texting them? Should I make them miss me more?
. Will a text message make them see me as annoying, desperate, or needy?
And hundreds more.
Pretty soon you feel paralyzed and you just sit there holding your cell phone in your hand, not knowing what to do or say.
If this has ever happened to you, don't worry. Today I'm going to share some tips with you about sending those all important first texts to help you get your ex back.
Before you try to text your ex back after a breakup, there are a few key things you'll want to keep in mind. Your very first text messages will be extremely important.
When done right, they can open your ex up to the idea of being with you again. When done wrong, they can close the lines of communication for good.
Remember these 5 points before you send your first text to your ex:
1. Don't text your ex too soon. Give yourself a period of no contact (3-4 weeks is ideal). During this time think about what went wrong in the relationship and decide if you truly want your ex back or if you're just having a weak emotional moment because you're afraid to be alone.
2. Don't talk about the relationship. There will be time later to work everything out, but right now they need to remember the reasons they were with you in the first place, not all the reasons the relationship ended.
3. Don't beg, plead, apologize repeatedly, or tell them things like "I've changed." The old relationship is dead. You want to open them to the possibility of being in a new, better relationship with you.
4. It's ok if you don't get a response right away. In fact, it's very common not to get a response to your first few texts. You need to structure your first few texts in a way that doesn't put any pressure on your ex to respond.
5. Send texts with a purpose. Every text you send your ex should have a purpose. Try to avoid sending what Michael Fiore refers to as "nothing texts" in his book, Text Your Ex Back.
A Bit More On Nothing Texts
As Michael puts it, a nothing text is "...a text that doesn't actually SAY anything and doesn't leave any "hooks" for positive interaction." These are texts such as "Hey" or "How's it going?" (that's right, the types of texts you're probably already sending).
Learning how to text your ex back is something you want to get right the first time because when it comes to breakups, there isn't always a second chance.
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