Singapore's a great place to work, assuming you're a workaholic struggling to find acceptance. To everyone else, it's worse than joining an ass kicking contest with a case of haemorrhoids. We're one of the toughest work environments in Asia: Come unprepared, and you'll last as long as Ghost Rider 2 did in the cinemas. But even in the hell pits that pass for an office here, you'll find methods to come out on top. In this article, I examine how our expats can adapt and even thrive:
"So in Singapore, we have got the death penalty for drug smuggling and.stopping work?"
1. Replace Criticism With Suggestion
Singaporeans are thin-skinned. Directly from school, we're conditioned to visualize failure as more embarrassing than bed-wetting at 30. The primary reason a greater portion of us aren't leaping off buildings might be the anti-killer litter campaign.
In the Singaporean workplace, there's no faster alternative to acquire enemies than outright criticism. It goes for colleagues, bosses, and perhaps even the cleaning lady. You're advised to skirt the suggestion of failure, and posit alternative solutions instead.
Just like, let's say Harry the accountant is late with the budget. Again. As opposed to saying:
"Hey, Harry, you really should check out the garden. You'll have a kick out of watching the slugs race past," try something like:
"Hey Harry, have you tried using Excel rather than Notepad for the budget reports?"
Nonsense, we're able to take criticism. Now you ask, would you take an elbow to the face?
2. Explain Your Reasons
Singaporeans want to ask why, and woe to any person who won't explain. Blame it on our highly educated workforce: When we can't begin to see the point of doing something, the negative side gets control. We assume someone's giving us work for the sake of, well, giving us work.
In the Singapore office, successful workers back their requests with the reasons. Even our bosses don't give directions like a banana republic generalissimo; they describe the intended outcome. So if you get a marketing plan to increase sales, don't just throw a "to-do" list at your team. Explain the full plan, and show how each point fulfils one of those particular objectives.
"Today's subject explains why I'll be in the loo at 4.30pm. Please check out pictures."
3. Quality First, Speed Second
Singaporeans get annoyed at slow people. But "annoyed" is comparatively much better than "artery-bursting furiousness". So between speed and quality, always pick quality.
If your work is outstanding, you'll be forgiven for being slow. If your work is on-time but it's rubbish, you'll soon be describing crucifixion as a pussy punishment. Also, Singaporean bosses are fond of having people redo things; to the point of getting it right, or getting committed to a local asylum. So there's no point rushing, not when you'll are required to do it all yet again. Just admit you'll miss the deadline, and complete the best work possible.
"Sorry I'm late. I converted the sales report into a three part epic and hand-carved it on Canadian Timber."
4. Attend at any cost
Singaporeans can tolerate lateness. Truth be told, we're notorious to generally be late ourselves. Absence, however, is a different issue.
Even if you'd be an hour late for something, you ought to show up. Colleagues will probably be polite and say things like "Oh, it's already so late, you shouldn't bother." But count on me, they're about as sincere as a Sarong Party Girl's affection for anyone Caucasian. Because if you don't show up, your colleagues and bosses will assume you're lazy, or merely couldn't be bothered. Showing your face means you've made an effort.
"That's why you're not attending? We do not understand. I mean, you have another leg right?"
5. Clarify the Terms
Singaporean companies, especially SMEs, are loose with language. We're proficient with English, but"proficient" is not the same as "good".
When your colleague says "annual", it can mean anything from a pamphlet to a coffee-table book. We've engineers whose understanding of a technical term is "that round thing". Which isn't to suggest they aren't good at their jobs; just that their use of language is more referential than in, say, Britain or Germany.
To be safe, give an example of what you're likely to do. For example, if you're instructed to compile a report, then conduct a few sample pages and run it by your colleagues. Make sure that it's what they have in mind before finishing the duty.
"And the green metal thing goes here. If it falls off, you'll all be like 'Aaargh, oh my gawd.' And then."
6. Offer to Help.More Than Once
If a Singaporean fell off a cliff and fractured every third bone in her body, she'd respond to the rescue call with "I'm fine, really." It's only on the second or third request that she'd admit, very discreetly, that she needs help finding her femur.
Singaporeans don't like obtaining help (for reasons described in point 1). But we'll resent you for not offering it, despite refusing to actually ask you. Stay for a few years, it'll start to make sense. To get in your colleague's good books, you'll have to take the initiative and offer aid. You'll probably be rejected the first time, so ask again later. 2 or 3 times should suffice.
On the other hand, when Singaporeans do ask for help, start worrying. Because few emergencies short of a thermonuclear meltdown will warrant this.
"What are you doing with that extinguisher? Check if he needs help first. Manners!"
7. You Should Not Lie To Cover Mistakes
This is true everywhere, short of the former Bush administration. But it's amazing what Singaporeans will forgive, assuming that you're honest.
Singaporeans are sensitive in regards to a specific kind of lie: the sort used to conceal mistakes. Do it even once, and you'll lose the trust of colleagues. Bosses will probably mount a campaign to get you fired. So just don't. As for anything else, lie when necessary. Actually, should a colleague asks if he put on weight, you'd better start role-playing Pinocchio.
Author Resource:
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