Christmas is a time of the year that arouses various emotions in people. For some, it is seen as a time to connect with family and friends and remind ourselves of the importance of our closest communities. For others, it is a time in the calendar which announces that another year has passed, with mixed feelings about where we are going in life and how you can best create the balance we so desire in the coming year. For others, Christmas is met with cynicism and sadness at the overly consumerist pressure to spend even more money on things we clearly don t need and from which we derive only temporary satisfaction.
Whenever someone is challenged as to what Christmas means to them, they often resort to saying things like Well, it is really all about the children, isn t it? But are we really convinced with this answer or is it an attempt to justify our seemingly driven and unexamined behaviour to act in certain ways regarding Christmas?
For many of us, our children no longer have to wait for luxury items or experiences once a year. Long gone are the post war years when one toy and a piece of fruit in a Christmas stocking were met with excitement and anticipation. It seems that for many of us, we do not know exactly why we feel driven to respond to the social and cultural expectations regarding Christmas and for people in western society, this usually means elevated consumer spending. Many of us don t even question whether we can afford to spend in ways we do or whether we want to spend our precious limited time pretending to enjoy time with those we might prefer not to. As psychologists, counselors and marriage guidance bureaus testify, January is a busier month in their diaries following a Christmas that failed to meet unquestioned expectations, to which we were unable to say no.
But what is Christmas really all about? It seems that we have a tremendous urge for ritual in our lives. Collectively recognised and honoured traditions allow us to stave off an existential angst of questioning what our existence is really all about. It also staves off a sense of aloneness and uncertainly since we can hoodwink ourselves into believing that these realities objectively exist beyond social and cultural expectations. Those who blindly declare they have little choice regarding family expectations are, in my experience as a psychologist, those who relinquish the responsibility for owning their own reactions to these existential yearnings. Those who dare to take responsibility for their reactions to Christmas and other social and cultural events, knowing that life is an unfixed reality, are those who seem to have a greater potential to create a life of meaning and purpose. This has nothing to do with celebrating Christmas in socially sanctioned ways. It is to do with an open minded awareness of the unquestioned myths surrounding Christmas and our choices in responding to it with choice and responsibility, not duty and obligation.
Author Resource:
Clare Mann is a Counselling Psychologist in Sydney Australia who specialises in assisting people to remove the myths of limitation in their lives. She is the author of the "Myths of Life and The Choices We Have", and existential self-help book. http://thesydneypsychologist.com
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