After a break up, it’s easy to forget that there are always two sides to the story. Successful relationships take two committed people moving in the same direction toward the same goal. If you want your ex back, the advice in this article can serve as a first step toward reconciliation. Good, solid relationships involve so many factors. It’s difficult to apply a one size fits all approach. This article will focus on blame. Not blaming yourself or your partner but taking a hard look at the factors that contributed to the break up.
So, for a moment, let’s stop obsessing about how to win your ex back. Instead, let’s take a look at your role in the equation. Write down all the problems that led to the break up. Fill as many pages as necessary. Try to remember all the fights and accusations that built up over time. At this point, even if you disagree with some of the content, write down everything your partner said about you. Next, write down all the ways that you failed. Yes… You guessed it. This is about owning your share of the blame. If you truly want your ex back, you’ll need to take an honest look at your role in the split and take responsibility.
Couples separate for many reasons. It’s likely you have some valid reasons to blame your ex. But, all we can change is ourselves. And if we want to try to make amends, we have to take responsibility for our own actions. Sometimes we’re unavailable or not committed at the same level as our partner. Sometimes we’re ruining all the fun and spontaneity for being too demanding. Think back to the beginning. Write down all your thoughts about the beginning. Or, if it was some other time, write down everything you remember about the best times. What was happening? What wasn’t happening? Contrast those memories with the final days or weeks before the break up. What was different? How were you different?
It’s likely you’ll notice that things got out of balance. At some point, your individual needs weren’t being met. Record every thought about the situation. Look for common themes.
After the writing portion of this exercise, it’s time for some analysis. Take an honest look at all the things you could have done differently. If you notice any events that were beyond your control, you can cross them out. It’s pointless to worry about things we can do nothing about. You should now have a list of items that could have been handled in a better way. Ask yourself what motivated you to act this way. Are there things you can change? I’ll bet you find lots of tangible ways that you could improve your chances for success.
Take a look at prior relationships. Are there certain things that all your partners complained about? These may be valuable clues. Do you keep making the same mistakes in your relationships? If this is true, it’s your opportunity to change for the better. Failed relationships often hold many clues that could help you succeed in the future. While it’s true that nobody’s perfect, your failings could hold the keys that set you free.
So, this first step is about taking action. Before contacting your ex about getting back together, take some time and find out where you went wrong. After you’ve gained valuable insight into yourself and your role, you’ll have new tools and insights that no one can take away. When you’re ready, you can use this knowledge when you establish a meaningful conversation with your ex.
Author Resource:
For more information about how to survive and what to expect after a break up, visit: http://hubpages.com/hub/after-a-break-up To learn new, proven strategies for getting back together with your ex, visit: http://after-a-break-up.info
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