The Web has turn out to be the hot new place for intelligent, eligible people to find romance, and those searching for love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have begun relationships online with people they have not met and know little about.
As the web expands into human relationships and dating, it is in your best interest to exercise caution. Trust your instincts and use your common sense. Here are some guidelines for playing it safe:
If it looks like it's too good to be true, then it is!.
Take advantage of email or chat or facebook to get a feel first. Be vigilant in noticing abnormal behavior or inconsistencies. If you detect evasive signs, your radar should flag it. "Pay attention" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Go with your instincts. If you are not at ease at the start, the best thing is to walk right away.
Information on the person is key.
Learn to ask many questions. Do a check list on your side to get basic info on things like where he works or where he grew up. You will be like Columbo trying to find out a person's profile. Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying information. Try to look for discrepancies as they tell you their life story. As you ask your questions, if you see that there is hesitancy in getting the answers, be cautious. Continue with a great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to success.
You should describe yourself as accurately as you can. In the online world, it is so easy to say you look like Jolie when you are not . Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital status and physical appearance. You can start by exchanging pics. If someone is unwilling to send a current photo, this is warning sign. If you don't get that picture after making several requests, then it's yet another red flag. Having a scanned photo is easily available, so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. When you have each other's pics, continue to get more info so that both side will have an accurate total picture. Honesty is the best policy as your grandma always say.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out your phone number to a stranger. Trust takes time to develop. Provide them your phone number only when you get that feeling of comfort.
No need to rush.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If you feel you are being pressured, then it's another red flag. Remember that if your gut instinct is not right, do not hesitate to walk away and move on to the next candidate.
If there are no red flags and you decide to meet, just proceed with care and dictate the terms of the first meeting. The following is a guide to make sure that you have a safe encounter:
1. Always tell someone where you are going with your date and when you will return. Make sure you give them your date's full name and contact numbers just in case. There are also websites these days, like smartdatedotcom, where you can register dating information such as these, for a small fee. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Protect yourself!
2. Keep the location of the first date in a public place. Stay near other people in a lighted area. Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way to get to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble.
4. On this first date, reconcile what your date told you online to see if he was honest to begin with. This is like an audit, it you find he lied online, move on.
5. Do not bring your date back to your house after the first meeting. Remember that you are out with almost a virtual stranger. Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use in any type of dating relationship.
Exercise caution. Take control of your future. Always think ahead before you invest your time and emotion on this exercise. As in both your professional and personal life, information is the key!
Author Resource:
James is a retiree who used to work in technology at an investment banking firm. In an effort to save his sanity and to avoid turning into a raving alcoholic, while at the same time make some pocket money on the side, he has gotten into IM, setting up an eclectic collection of sites, such as providing info on how to have an affair to other adult dating web sites.