It is astounding to think that the parenting we pass onto our children is not only going to affect them but the generations to follow after them. We have the power to influence future generations by how we love, teach and influence our own children.
Even if we do not plan to pass on our values, our children pick them up by being immersed in our home. They watch, listen and copy our behaviour and reactions.
Knowing this helps us as parents work out whether we want their values to be learnt accidentally or on purpose. What values do you want your children to hold as they grow?
There are many different areas we as parents can influence. In the end the responsibility for our children is with us- not on their school, their nanny or their grandparents. We can make a huge difference in our children’s lives.
Teaching respect for other people and their belongings is one important lesson we can impart to our children. If you are the type of parent who gets angry in traffic jams, cross at telemarketers and doesn’t like having people over to your home, take a moment to consider what type of message that is giving your child about how we treat people. The same can be said for belongings. If you over react when a belonging is broken, or you find it hard to remember to return a borrowed item, your child is just learning to do the same.
Our children look at how we speak to others and then model that behaviour themselves. Yesterday I reprimanded my daughter for her sniping tone only to reconsider that perhaps I may have taught her to speak that way to her sometimes. The tone I hated hearing from her mouth was actually one that originated from me.
There is no doubt that our children can drive us crazy with heir behaviour at times. So often however the very things we clash with in our children are the very strengths they will be known for as adults. It is up to us to recognise these positive traits and bring them out. If you have a strong willed child who is always trying to fight your guidelines, imagine how far they can go with that drive! A child who is always asking why may become a top researcher with their desire to find out the truth.
It is up to us as parents to identify and pull out or children’s strengths and talents. Our children are not blank slates at birth that we can shape into anything we desire. They will all be different with unique strengths and weaknesses. Our job is to identify their strengths and build on them. Sometimes it is simply a matter of talking with them. I was organising my children’s activities for next year and had a busy week planned. It suddenly occurred to me that Ii had not asked my daughter what she preferred. She didn’t want to do anything I had planed- she just wanted to do art lessons. I had not even considered that option! I need to remember I am here to grow her strengths. Her future and the future of our world depends on it!
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