Recently, I was fascinated to read a quote by Karl Lagerfeld, the long-lasting legendary designer, who said: "I am never happy. Happiness scares me; then I am afraid to be less happy. Happiness could be a very dangerous state of mind."
This statement shocked me.
Someone as successful as he, having attained such a revered standing in society, a legend in his own right, undoubtedly wealthy, possibly healthy...what's wrong with him? He is not happy and, even additional stunning, he does not seem to need to be.
I, like many of my contemporaries, have read a minimum of one of the following books on the topic of happiness, contentment: The Power of Now, The Four Agreements, The Law of Attraction, to name a few. I've got conjointly seen The Secret DVD, more times than I'm willing to admit. (I actually like it, shoot me currently) According to those trendy seers, attaining happiness and contentment is straightforward and a reasonably easy factor to do. What is a lot of, not only is it attainable, however it seems that when you have got it, you'll keep it as well.
Some of us (browse: ME) have to confess that we (I) have searched and researched books, articles, DVD's, friend's usually-invited advice, family's uninvited advice...etc, till convinced that the chance of happiness isn't only attainable, however a coveted feeling, something we ought to try perpetually to feel, right up there with Love.
However, after I browse Lagerfeld's candid confession, I began to surprise: are any of us really happy? And if any people answer a quick, YES! Then, for how long do we have a tendency to remain therefore? For the instant, for the day, for the week, a year? And when any of us are lucky enough to achieve this elusive emotion, are we have a tendency to ready to hold on to it? Finders keepers forever?
There are moments that come along in all of our lives that, gratefully, make us actually happy. I can recall a minimum of a few as I write this.
That moment, as an example, after I was completely exhausted at the top of a loooong day, once I felt like I was "on" all day, however wished nothing more than to be "off", in my own little world, and then, came that moment when all the chores were done, the kid place to bed, my face washed and teeth brushed, my head hit the pillow and I drifted off into total sleep oblivion. At that moment, I used to be genuinely happy. I got exactly what I wanted. I needed to switch off, to rest, to forget the day, and sleep.
Our lives are stuffed with moments like these, and as fleeting as they're, and often by their simplicity go unnoticed, nonetheless, they are moments of true joy and happiness.
I remember my wedding day, over twenty years ago, as if it were yesterday. It was, as most brides would gush, a whirlwind of excitement and glowing happiness. Irrespective of what little details might have gone wrong, or whose in-laws needed perspective changes, or that people had the last minute jitters, I used to be still full of romance and love, a blushing, young bride, marrying a beautiful , smart man, and I felt as a lot of happiness as I believed happiness may offer.
When my wedding fell apart some seventeen years later, and I fell wildly crazily, earth-shatteringly in love with another man, I experienced eighteen unimaginable months of total bliss. Regardless of what else was happening in my life, there was nothing I could not handle, and my perception was softened, sort of a photograph with those camera work that produces everyone appear therefore beautiful. All was dreamy, and all was directed towards those moments once I might be with him.
When, a year and a half later, my heartfelt, flushed, "I Love You!" was met with silence and a pleasant kiss on each cheeks, the rosy glow of happiness began to recede and took a slow painful crashing dive into an unexplainable abyss. So much for my vision of happily ever after.
I was happy for a time.
What do we tend to need to fear of happiness? Its loss. That was the core of Lagerfeld's statement. Why pursue happiness, when you recognize it can finish? Nobody has accomplished the impossible human feat of outsmarting life's difficulties, challenges, pains, and frustrations by staying happy continuously. All any people will hope for is the rise of happy moments, or the elongation of happy times, however we cannot faux to believe that after happiness comes, it's here to stay.
Have my experiences in my life been thus grim, thus troublesome, that I now fail to seem forward to a cheerful future?
I do not believe so.
It's just that, once 41 years of ambling concerning in this world, I noticed that I don't want to chase happiness as an finish, or to make its attainment my ultimate conclusive goal in life. I do not would like to have a false hope of waiting for circumstances to change so I can finally be happy forever.
Happiness is ephemeral. However, it invariably returns.
I noticed that my life is now not concerning chasing once things that will, once and for all, build me happy. Things can create me happy for the moment, for a time, however as the night follows the day, and good is defined by the presence of its opposite, evil, therefore happiness is only recognized because of the existence of its opposite.
Those moments that we would rather forget; gut wrenching pain, frustration, confusion, deep sadness, depression...those are the very moments that build the times after we are happy more vivid, additional intense.
Generally, it will be an extended fall from happiness.
The happier you are, when the instant, the day, or the eighteen months are over, the farther your fall. Nevertheless the opposite is true additionally: the harder you fall, the stronger your happiness, when it comes.
And it invariably comes.
Lagerfeld must have had some deeply happy moments in his life, and must have fallen pretty way, to be thus weary of it now.
Haven't we tend to all.
However therein lies our hope: Happiness always returns. It might not keep, however it invariably comes again. We simply should be willing to let it back in.
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