It is troublesome to understand the lifetime of a battered woman. However, upon reading Lenore Walker's book "Battered Girl," one gains insights into the psychology of ladies who are battered, likewise because the stark realization of the complexities involved.
Walker's interviews with battered women are disturbing. A number of the incidents are graphic; some are detestable; and all are tough to imagine. Yet, it happens. Statistics show that lots of women kill their batterers each year in self-defense. But there are a number of more incidents that are never reported.
What role do our social institutions play in preventing a lady from reporting these brutal attacks? Let's begin with law enforcement. It is clear that some domestic disturbance calls aren't handled by the police because it ought to be. They are doing not seem to wish to urge concerned in these kinds of disputes. They visit the house, talk to the couple and, unless the wife wishes to file charges, they leave.
More typically than not, the wife can not file charges. She is thus petrified of the results that she will instead build excuses for her husband if there is any hint of locking him away. Such was the case of Tracey Thurman, a Connecticut housewife, who was brutally stabbed and beaten by her husband, and left a quadriplegic.
She filed a lawsuit against the Connecticut Police Department and, hence, the Thurman Law was enacted. This law requires police to treat a domestic disturbance call with the same care and seriousness that any different violent crime is treated.
However, society's apathy towards the battered lady extends far beyond our social institutions. It extremely begins in the family unit. Dr. Susan Forward authored a book entitled "Men Who Hate Girls and The Women Who Love Them." In it, she clarifies through interviews with batterers, the reasoning behind this monstrous behavior. She describes the batterer as a "misogynist" or lady-hater.
Lenore Walker outlines the "Cycle Theory of Violence" in her book. This theory explains the 3 phases of battery.
Section One is that the "Tension Building Stage" and begins with "minor incidents" in that the battered girl assumes blame and re-adjusts her thinking to avoid any future confrontations. The battered woman justified the batterer's actions by internalizing her own actions and the way she could have prevented the incident.
Phase Two is the "Acute Battering Incident," which is described as "all out rage" on the part of the batterer. Since he felt he was able to induce away with Section One or that it had been readily accepted by his partner, the batterer feels he has permission to escalate his attacks. These attacks have a tendency to be a lot of brutal over a shorter amount of time. It is during this stage that the psychological harm to the lady is ore severe. It leaves her helpless, hopeless, and terrified.
Part Three is "Kindness and Contrite Loving Behavior" which manifests itself by the batterer by asking forgiveness and promising that it can never happen again. The batterer overextends himself by doing something he will to make up for the pain he caused.
A girl usually forgives the batterer as a result of, within the case of an isolated incident, she re-adjusts her own mindset so that she does not set him off again. She accepts his gifts and his promises. All is forgiven, right? Wrong!
Before too long, the batterer begins the cycle everywhere again till the lady has become totally desensitized. She has lost all sense of identity, control, herself. The cycle becomes a routine, a ritual. So, as long as there are batterers; there will be victims.
"Battered Girl" is not the cure-all for this condition, however offers the reader info on the potential reasons behind this growing problem. It offers alternatives to ladies who opt for to remain in a very relationship, furthermore as to people who opt for to leave.
During a discussion I had with a co-worker concerning this subject, he commented" "Well, you know how it is. I'm going home, the wife starts yapping regarding something and I am too tired. I do not wish to listen to it. It happens; it should not, but it does. What will I say?"
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