Fortunately every relationship is different and we so also fight and make up in a another way. If you have been together for a while you will have figured out a way to make up and move on. When moving on without solving the issue you were fighting about is bugging both you, than the next couple of questions should sound familiar and you can find the answers in this article.
Why are we arguing?
We are usually arguing about an unclear feeling underneath that hasn't been talked about or discussed enough. Something that happened in your previous relationship or at work or even when you were young. It doesn’t always have to do with the both of you. It could very well be something you went through before you got together. Figuring out why you are angry is not as easy as it might sound. Discovering your true feelings and the background of your arguments will take a lot of work. Help each other in finding out why and you both will benefit from it.
Could you be more specific?
When you are angry with each other it is hard to say what you want to say. It could help if you would write down what is troubling you in just one or two sentences. Keep it short, that’s the idea. Why? Because sooner or later you she will ask you to explain, like this: “I don’t understand, be more specific!” or “You keep repeating yourself, be more specific!” When you take the time to think about what you want to say and write it down. You can read it back or even read it out loud when it is getting to emotional. Calm down and read what you want him to hear.
Why do you always want to be right?
Do you recognize it? You won’t give in, even when you know you are wrong? You just have to win this one, no matter what. And afterwards you hate yourself for keeping the fight going. That is a sure no-winner! And it is not fare. It takes a lot of courage, but when give in during a fight.....guess what happens?
I think you owe me an apology?
You want an apology without asking for it? Than don’t ask! Forgive for the mistake that was made and figure out what you can do to help.
Yes, reach out and offer to find out together how to avoid this from happening again. It will make you feel much more satisfied than an apology can ever make you feel. Just remember why you want to stop fighting. Is an apology helping at all?
Finally learn to appreciate each other again. You both have a right to be different. And that’s a great asset! Be proud of that and enjoy it. Also make agreements. If your argument has been bad, you may want to make adeal with your partner about the boundaries and terms of your relationship. Agree upon the things you will take into account. Something you will not say or do anymore.
Author Resource:
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It will take a lot of work and some time to make the necessary changes. Enjoy this process together and you will grow closer!
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