With 16 years of marital experience I should be able to help you select a few pointers to get you started on fixing your marital problems.
How did I do it? I made the decision to act. Searching and reading anything that I thought could help me. I will show you what I found most useful later on, but first I would like to tell you what I have learned that changed the way she looks at me now.
BREAKFAST WAKE UP CALL
Please take the time to eat. Together. I know it is tempting to pick up the newspaper and wake up in your pace. In our Dutch culture it is common to eat together. But sitting at the table without exchanging a word can hardly qualify as "family time" now can it? We changed our morning routine. I get up a bit earlier and make her a coffee. Then I get my little boy out of bed and we bring mom her coffee so she can wake up in her own time. And believe me, she needs to wake up! In the meanwhile I will set the table and after everybody has been dressed we start our breakfast.
THE ELEMENTS OF SURPRISE
Yes, be that perfect husband and surprise her with fresh flowers every day! No, I don't think so. Why not? The biggest surprises don't come that easy. If you are at a breaking point and you need to make a big change to save your relationship, bringing her flowers will only work for a short period of time. Believe me I tried. Try to look for your elements of surprise somewhere else. Remember what she is always asking you to do? That one thing you keep scheduling for next week. The thing that is most annoying to her? I guess you know what to do.
MAKE HER LAUGH
I think I am a funny guy. I can make people laugh and I like to be a bit of a comedian at birthday parties. Somehow I forgot how to make her laugh like that at home. What I did was pretty simple to do once I remembered again. When you meet people for the first time at some party you don't immediately start your stand up act. You take the time to see who is there and how they react to simple conversation. You gently make a funny remark and when more people start looking at you then you know you are ready to go. It basically works the same at home. Don't expect her to laugh just because it is you. Work on it!
How you can start your rescue-mission
There are a number of ways for you to save your relationship. And my way will surely not be your way, we are different. But there is something I did that I know will work for you.
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