Among the most feared words a spouse can hear are "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Too often, we get to this point before we start to stress about how to help our marriage to grow and be strong. These words can seemingly come from out of the blue or there may perhaps be issues with in the marriage that you just aren't dealing with. If there was infidelity or some other example of broken trust in the relationship, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any variety of other issues, you'll need to actively work at saving your marriage to make it the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be.
The First Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Any marriage has highs and lows which can be a standard part of the flow of things. If you move through an extended period of lows, on the other hand, there could possibly be a problem. Until you identify what that problem is, you are not going to be able to allow it to be better. In some instances, concentrating on the difficulty which is making you fight everyday or which is hurting one of you is simple.
You could possibly be fighting over money or maybe you are upset that your spouse doesn't appear to be interested in you physically anymore. For others, the main reason for the issues may be less obvious. When you have to get counseling to figure out what the problems are, then do it. You cannot find solutions without knowing the problems.
The Second Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Once you have identified the challenge or challenges, you can take a practical approach to making them go away. This will require you to definitely sit down and talk calmly and honestly about making a plan for making things better. This is likely to get harder than you expect it to be. Even those problems that seem minor is often very complex once you start acting on them. Often that's because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and when things have gotten to the purpose where you're in danger of losing your relationship, they have peaked.
You might have to try and do more than adjust your attitude in order to begin saving your marriage. For instance, if your spouse has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and he or she may be avoiding any kind of intimacy with you for months, you might be confused about what seems to have been a sudden change in their feelings. When she or he tells you the change with your appearance has completely cooled them off, are you going to be willing to commit to getting yourself in shape so that you can begin saving your marriage?
The challenge can also be something like the truth that they feel rejected by you since you haven't touched them in six months. If he or she has put on an amount of weight or simply isn't caring for themselves and you do not see them in the same way, you should put your cards on the table as well. With these kind of issues, it is crucial to not be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word "I" as an alternative to the word "you".
The Third Step to Saving Your Marriage:
You need to have time to help your marital problems disappear, no matter what they are. Whether you select to get counseling or work on the issues yourself, it requires time to locate solutions on your problems and to heal from the damage that they've already done. Always understand that you are working to change your marriage and never your spouse. It really is the relationship that needs mending and you'll both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.
Author Resource:
You will also find additional resources and tools for Saving Your Marriage by Don Price from www.savingyourrelationshiptips.com
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