OK, you have used an internet dating site to send each other messages; you flirted, got on well and he has asked if you can meet. You think that you would like to, so here are ten tips for you to stay safe, set some predefined boundaries & not feel under pressure to go further than you would feel comfortable with.
1. Get a new email address (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc.) and give him that as a contact. If you feel ready to meet, then make initial plans to meet via this e-mail account.
2. Don't feel pressured into giving out your phone number. It may sound a bit over the top or paranoid, but you wouldn't give out your number to anyone you've not yet met in the normal course of events & Internet dating should be no different. If you make clear enough plans on when & where to meet, he doesn't need it. Take his if he offers it though!
3. Arrange to meet in an area you know well and in a public place. Pick a restaurant/pub you know, although perhaps not one you know your pals are likely to be in!
4. For a first date arrange to meet on a week night as it is more low key and does not have the expectation of staying out late.
5. Do not glam up too much, or flash too much flesh; it could give the wrong impression. Sorry but in this instance our mums were right!
6. When you meet, try to relax and be yourself; remember he is nervous too!
7. Conversation is up to you, but it is best to steer clear of controversial topics such as politics and at all costs avoid slagging off your ex-boyfriends! Re-read his dating profile before you meet & try using this as a starter i.e. 'You had a lovely pic of you on the beach, where was that?', 'You said so and so was your favourite book - I've not read that one....plus, everyone loves to moan about their work!
8. If the date goes well and he asks to see you again, say you will have a think and get back to him. Again you are under no pressure. If a guy at a party offered you his number, you might well say the same thing. Give a big smile, peck his cheek and thank him for a lovely evening. It can be difficult to really judge someone after a few hours and often subtle things can dawn on you later, for good OR bad!
9. If the date is dreadful, as in he is horrible, boring, a foot shorter or 10 years older than his profile indicated, you can now say you have a really early start at work and apologise for leaving so soon. Thank him for a lovely evening and make a swift exit. You are not a bad person for doing this!!! He has lots of other dates lined up if he is smart (as should you) and it is all about getting out and meeting new people.
10. What if you had a great time, but he didn't ask to see you again?! Before you get out the tissues and the chocolates/ice cream, take a step back & take stock. It was only a date after all. Send him a breezy email next day saying you had a lovely time and you really enjoyed his company. If he doesn't reply let it go and meet the next guy.
Use these tips & don't be frightened to insit he sticks to them. They are perfectly reasonable & if he's a decent bloke, he won't have any problem with them. Above all, enjoy yourself! It takes courage to meet strangers and at5 least you can entertain your friends with your stories of oddballs, nerds and maybe just maybe, that guy who you really clicked with, who you will meet again!!!
Author Resource:
Reece Coleman is the owner of the Find Me Dates group of online dating sites, catering for singles of all ages in the UK, USA, South Africa, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand & Canada, as well as a dedicated over 50 dating site for mature singles.
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