If this hasn't happened to you, you've at least known someone or read a book or something where it does happen: two people meet, instantly fall in love and then do something extreme, whether it's dropping their whole lives and running away to Iceland together or simply getting married. Sounds totally romantic, I know. Or does it?
I flip flop about this one. I've been in that situation before. When I was younger, though equally as head strong as I am now, I fell, totally and completely, for a man 15 years older than I. After we dated for just three months, I sublet my totally amazing, really hard to find, apartment, moved in with him and started window shopping the engagement rings.
What happened next was the stuff of nightmares not romantic dreams. He attacked me. Though I'm kind of glib about it now, at the time I felt like my world had fallen apart. Not only was I loveless, I was homeless. And on top of all that, I'd started to doubt my own abilities about feelings and instincts. It happened so suddenly and so intensely it was as though I was watching myself in a movie.
I've been told that I should have been more discriminating and not so hasty in my decision. That could be. However, I made it out in one piece. And even if I could go back for a do over, I'm not sure that I'd do things any differently. I go from the heart, I always have, and I always will. That's who I am. If I put a buffer on my heart I wouldn't have experienced the emotions that I did; for better or worse.
The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can't have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don't sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life's just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.
Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I'm all in favor of following one's heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.
People like this most certainly exist. I call them "love-bleweeds". They make a life out of tumbling around, building up one relationship and life, only to completely uproot and reconfigure when the next one comes along. After you've done this for long enough, it's very possible to forget how to be calm, comfortable and exercise any follow through.
I suppose some people are happy like this and if so, more power to them. However, there are lots of casualties surrounding someone who lives like this: they have friends and co-workers and lovers and neighbors and pets and a life that gets set up. When you drop everything at the sight of the next "soulmate" who comes along, there are bound to be a heap of people in your wake who are going to feel something missing when you're gone.
It's a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you're really lucky, and you've had some experience, perhaps you'll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love's intensity.
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This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands more professional dating posts .
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