So, you have used an internet dating site to send each other messages; you flirted, got on well and he has asked you on a date. You believe that you would like to, so here are ten tips for you to stay safe, set some predefined boundaries & not feel under pressure to go any farther than you would feel happy with.
1. Get a different email address (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc.) and give him that as a point of contact. If you feel ready to meet, then make your first plans to meet via this Email account.
2. Don't feel pressurised into handing out your mobile number. It may sound a bit extreme or paranoid, but you wouldn't give out your number to anyone you've not yet met in the normal way & online dating should be no different. If you make organised enough plans for when & where to meet, he doesn't need it, but take his if he offers it though!
3. Arrange to meet somewhere you know well and in a public place. Pick a restaurant/pub you know, although probably not one you know your pals are expected to be in!
4. For an initial date arrange to meet on a school night as it is more low key and doesn't have the expectation of staying out late.
5. Do not overdo the make-up, or show off too much bare skin; it could give an inappropriate impression. Sorry, but in this case our mums were right!
6. When you meet, try to relax and be yourself; consider he is most likely nervous too!
7. Conversation is up to you, but it is best to avoid controversial topics such as political sympathies and at all costs avoid moaning about your ex-boyfriends! Re-read his online profile before you meet & try using this as a starter i.e. 'You had a adorable pic of you on the beach, where was that?', 'You said so and so was your favourite book - why is it your favourite?', plus, everyone likes to complain about their job!
8. If the date goes well and he asks to meet again, say you will give it some thought and get back to him. As before, you are under no pressure. If a man at an event gave you his number, you might well say the same thing. Give a big smile, peck his cheek and say thanks for a lovely time. It can be hard to truly judge a person after just a few hours and sometimes elusive things can occur to you later!
9. If the date is awful, i.e. he is nasty, dull, a foot shorter or 10 years senior than his profile stated, you can now say you have a really early start in the morning and apologise for leaving so soon. Thank him for a lovely time and make a swift exit. You are not a horrible individual for doing this!!! He has lots of other dates lined up if he is smart (as should you) and it is all about going out and meeting different people.
10. What if you had a great evening, but he didn't ask to meet you again?! Before you get out the hankies and the tub of ice cream, take a step back & take stock. It was only a date after all. Send him a light & cheery e-mail next day saying you had a lovely evening and really enjoyed his company. If he doesn't respond leave it and meet the next man.
Use these tips & don't be scared to insist he sticks to them. When dating online they are perfectly fair & if he's a decent guy, he won't have any issue with them. Above all, enjoy yourself! It takes bravery to meet new people and at least you can amuse your mates with your tales of weirdos, nerds and perhaps, that guy who you really clicked with, who you will meet again!!!
Author Resource:
Reece Coleman is the owner of the Find Me Dates group of online dating sites , catering for singles of all ages in the UK, USA, South Africa, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand & Canada, as well as a dedicated over 50 dating site for mature singles.
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