Many people have felt the damage of being consciously hurt by someone important in their life. The most significant of these kinds of hurt is infidelity. The reason that infidelity is clearly the most damaging to us as human beings - and damaging to our relationships - is that it cuts to the very core of our sacred self. When your are cheated on it destroys the trust in that person and often affects your ability to trust ever again. If you have been so treated then you have some challenges ahead. But first take heart because it is possible to get past the hurt and trauma of infidelity and come out the other side as a better person.
The first thing that you must realize in the process of dealing with infidelity is what causes it. Most psychiatrists acknowledge that infidelity is often not a conscious choice or planned event or process but rather a negative, human side affect or result of major problems or lacking in our lives. The effect of this negative drive is to produce an experience that neither positive or one that fixes anything. That means that the effect on the person who caused the pain and damage - the cheater - is often as damaging as the hurt to the person cheated upon. So, is it possible to forgive and forget? Yes, it is provided that both of you understand what is really going on here, what is involved in rectifying the situation, and what the alternatives of the Yes or No question - to forgive or not - will result in. This is often a key ingredient if you want to get your ex back.
You cannot forgive someone who continues to hurt you. In other words, any forgiveness can only happen once the event or process is history. Any attempt to forgive someone who continues to hurt you will be unsuccessful and even extremely damaging. If you are past the point of damage and it is truly in the past then you can start to focus on the future and your alternatives.
Overcoming infidelity requires that we overcome the greatest of demands on the human spirit - forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process that we execute to save ourselves. This is not for the other person - it is solely for you - and your conscious decision to relieve the pain with this process, and only you can do it.
Forgiveness is about choice, albeit a most difficult one. It is the most difficult of human experiences because it is extremely difficult to let go of the strongest of reactions - bitterness, anger, and hatred. Forgiveness is all about the conscious release of those feelings and granting ourselves the life-freedom from the negative results of the hurt or experience. Quite often - if successfully accomplished - it destroys any lasting, loving feeling for the other person and this must be considered before embarking on such an initiative. If you are trying to get ex back it becomes an imperative.
The best approach is to write a letter to the other person - even if you don’t ever mail it - detailing how the experience affected you and your decision, for yourself, to forgive and put it in its proper place in the history of your life. There are many examples of couples that have even had their relationship survive such a terrible ordeal. You can use this tactic to initiate major changes and even get your ex back if that is what you truly want.
Author Resource:
Author Resource:-> James Roberts is Senior Article Editor for What-Why-How researching and writing on numerous topics including how to get ex back and real solutions for how to get ex back that work fast!
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