If all the marriage counselors and family therapists were crowded into one room they would undoubtedly agree that the common ingredient found in all great relationships is communication, as well as the key to fixing one that needs it. Like most subjects of gender interaction this one certainly has a gender-specific perspective that both colors each side’s participation and it bias.
As many people are aware, women typically withdraw from closeness in a relationship when they feel that their emotional needs are not being met. Most men, however, rarely cite that as an issue, citing more often their withdrawal as a consequence of being nagged, over-controlled or talked at. How does this state of affairs fare when the issue of communication is drawn over the landscape?
Well, clearly some women believe that their man should be continually ‘talked to’ to achieve the same goals, but perhaps with a gentler tone. Most men, when confronted with the need to provide emotional support to their mates rarely understand what that really means. So, you see, while communications are acknowledged as critical to the maintenance of healthy relationships, even the experts cannot agree on how best to achieve the goal of making it so.
No one is suggesting that attempting to solve the problem with superficial communication aimed at the perennial needs of the genders is an answer - even a consideration. Nonetheless, getting off dead center does require that both sides move toward a better understanding of their partner’s perspective and what their specific definitions of “emotional needs” and “over-management absence” really are. Then and only then can some improvement overall be genuinely attempted.
That said, there are a host of other dimensions of the communications issue that also need to be addressed. The most misunderstood of these is the need to communicate at all. For example, men instinctively avoid anything other than superficial discussion about a problem. Instinct tells them that problem discussion is only there for clarification - not resolution. Women, on the other hand, welcome the chance to discuss any problem - at length - with their mate. Men view the anticipation of deep problem-centric discourse as not unlike the cancellation of Monday Night Football - painful at least.
Actually how to communicate, when and with what level of detail almost always comes last, but this piece would be incomplete without it. Again, the gender bias rears its ugly head. Men believe that the more limited the breadth and depth of communication, the better. Women generally favor more rather than less - meaning the more serious the issue, the longer any discourse regarding it should take. So, as you can see, you first have to find some common ground of acceptance and understanding on the part of your mate, to begin to define how the two of you should try and communicate.
If you are past this point and are trying to get ex back or if you are creating a plan to win your ex back this type of communication topic may give you some structure. Regardless, you may learn that an attempt to get your ex back might be met with a willing a willing partner.
Author Resource:
Author Resource:-> James Roberts is Senior Article Editor for What-Why-How researching and writing on numerous topics including how to get ex back and real solutions for how to get ex back that work fast!
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