While not always acknowledged - especially by men - most makeup efforts in regard to relationship fights are engineered and carried out by women. While exceptions do exist, most of the time it is the woman who has to initiate a makeup. There are several reasons for this general tendency. First of all, most women are much more emotionally driven than men. This need by a woman - to have harmony and a positive emotional balance - is often the driving factor in such scenarios.
The other factor has to do with the way a man’s mind works. Even though they are unaware of it, men avoid apologies in general and simply go quiet - the routine recognized by all women. Because of their close linkage to the feelings associated with defeat and shame, a man would rather cure athletes foot with a wire brush than apologize. He does not feel the feelings of guilt or shame - he just must enter the same subconscious ‘room’ -where the feelings are stored - in order to engineer and make such an utterance. {Therefore, it is much more palatable for a man to do nothing than to expose himself to the effect of those kinds of feelings. | It is just easier for a man to do nothing than to open himself up to scorn by apologizing.
Therefore, if your relationship is damaged by conflict with your spouse or mate and you are female, you will likely have to be the one to initiate a makeup. Understanding how a man’s mind works in these scenarios is the key to your success. Men are biologically programmed to limit conversation - of any kind; for any reason - to subject areas where the communication is necessary and contributes to some active, task-oriented outcome. Communicating about a disagreement - i.e. talking about talking about things - hardly fits that necessity. This means that you must accomplish this in phases.
The first phase is - no matter how superficially - to get him to speak to you. Just this can be a monumental accomplishment. Your caveat here is to do this in such a way so as to avoid communicating - in the process - that you are at fault. It can often be worse than not making up to make up with assumed victory acknowledged to your mate.
Show him rather than tell him. Remember, men - as the biological mutation that we are - are still much more biologically driven than the fairer gender. Therefore, showing him how you feel is often much more effective than telling him. So let him know that you are still his woman - by fixing his favorite meal or mixing his favorite drink - finishing off the gesture with a cute love note.
Once the communication is flowing break out the teddies at bedtime and cement the makeup with a little whoopee. While all this sounds like the last thing you should be doing - especially if you know he was wrong - it works!
If you are trying to get ex back from a combative breakup, or if you plan to win your ex back and you have previously fought often, understanding these concepts will really help to get your ex back.
Author Resource:
Author Resource:-> James Roberts is Senior Article Editor for What-Why-How researching and writing on numerous topics including how to get ex back and real solutions for how to get ex back that work fast!