Isn't it interesting how many times people are given unfair labels just because they are dating. For example, a girl who is being cautious and safe is called "frigid". A man who is being pro-active is called a "player". All they want to do though, is find and date partners at their own pace.
There are so many labels out there that sometimes I am amazed anyone still wants to date. Also, as these labels can be hurtful, they can change the way you make your decisions when dating, putting you in an uncomfortable or even dangerous situation.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was "Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don't understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him "playing"."
Why is it that a man who is interested at improving himself romantically, who discusses his experiences with the intent on improving himself, is labelled a "player"?
There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
There tends to be two reasons why this situation arises. The first is because men, in their groups of mates, tend to be very competitive leading to displays of bravado. Also, men can feel that by speaking to their mates about what really is going on, they are somehow "betraying" their dating partner. After all, "a gentleman never kisses and tells".
This is a big issue. Learning about dating, women and romance through open communication with like minded men will mean you will obtain the knowledge to create a more harmonious dating experience. Its a win-win situation, no-one is worse off. You discuss openly, you learn from the honest sharing of ideas, you become wise and through the application of that wisdom, you create joy. Its important men learn to do this for both themselves and the women they love. Yet strangely, the men who do this already are called "players".
So, if you are a single man, you probably know already what I mean. If you are interested in self improvement, particularly when it comes to meeting and dating, you are not a player so don't be afraid. Just find some other men who are already doing this and all will be fine. There are communities of men who are doing this already and have joined together specifically to improve themselves in this manner. The key to this though is to always do it in a manner that is compassionate to the women you are dating.
Author Resource:
Dating Down Under - Quality dating advice for him and reviews regarding Australian Dating Sites
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