Call me crazy but I miss my ex girlfriend. If any of my friends and loved ones knew I was writing this, well, many of them would commence to kicking me in my ass! To be quite honest with you, she was never officially my girlfriend, she kept it that way. But for what ever reason I am sitting here thinking to myself, “I miss my ex girlfriend”.
It all started two years ago. In fact, we met October 4th 2007. I got her roses and candy on this date last year. I also made her dinner. This is the type of treatment I gave her on an on going basis despite the reality that she showed no appreciation ever. How stupid was I?
I don’t know. I guess I thought that maybe if I gave her more and more love she would return it. Guess what. That didn’t work. To be honest, it pushed her further away from me. Lesson # 1, don’t ever allow anyone to use your kindness for weakness.
Yes friends, the last two years of my life with this person was one big rollercoaster ride. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I allowed key word: allowed that girl to break my heart. So many times that I ran out of tears and after awhile my heart and my feelings became numb. There was nothing she did that would surprise me any more. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. She did a great job of making me think that her heart was in it. She was a good actress. She had to do something to keep me in her rolodex. So tell me why I am still saying to myself, “I miss my ex girlfriend”?
Up until this time, we would break up and always get back together. I would let her come back to me, I should say. A friend of mine told me once that this went on all of these times because I was the stable one in our relationship. I never looked at it this way but I suppose she was right.
She did something stupid and inconsiderate; I’d stop talking to her. We’d stop seeing each other for periods at a time and she’d come back. She would usually be in a crisis and call me in need. Most times she would use the fact that I care for the fate of her children to break the ice by asking me for something they needed.
So this time, despite the fact that I am sitting here thinking to myself, “I miss my ex girlfriend”, I am not looking to win her back. Yes people, I do not want to get back with my ex this time. I think I am ready to move on. Last time, I used the tactic of not talking to her or calling her to get her back. I had to keep myself busy and go out with others just to keep my mind off her. I had to act like I was happy even though I wasn’t when I ran into her family and friends just to make her feel as though I was o.k. with out her.
These were all different ways I attempted to make her think I did not need her, in hopes that I would get her back. And I did, each time.
Factually speaking, I miss my ex girlfriend. This fact is ok with me. I’ll keep missing her until this feeling fades away from my memory. Hence, I miss myself more. I lost myself in the whole scheme of things.
I fell in love with someone that does not love me back. This time I am not looking forward to winning my ex back. What I am looking forward to is finding that special someone who returns the love I give her and is trustworthy and loyal to me as I to her. Someone who is going to love me for who I am and not for what she can use me for.
Even though I miss my ex girlfriend, I am o.k. this time and I am going to stay that way.
Author Resource:
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