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Managing Kids - Make Sure You Don't Dig Holes In The Wrong Places...



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By : Liz Marsden    99 or more times read
Submitted 2009-11-17 07:23:29
Challenging behavior - digging holes?? What's going on here??

Because of their appalling behaviour in their mainstream school, after many professionals have tried and failed, children are referred to my classes. In a lot of cases mental health services are the next to be invited into the mix. No-one knows what else can be done, but it's rarely (no, never) considered that the management strategies maybe at fault rather than the child being the one to cop the blame...

So back to the issue of energy. The child behaves badly, the adults can't cope - the situation goes from bad to worse - and a great deal of energy is being used. However, the kind of energy you're using is wrong, so all the effort is wasted. Without exception the adults are stuck in the rut of using negative energy - it won't achieve anything. The outcome is bound to be negative.

A young lad in my class was referred by the most negative school I've ever dealt with... but their opinion of themselves was that they were ace!! The school and parents told me they couldn't think of 1 positive thing to say about the child. It was all negative - their words, their actions, everything. The poor child couldn't do anything right!! Life was miserable for him. I was lost for words for a moment - I find it hard to believe that anyone can talk about a child in that way. On a more positive note he went to another school where he's done well.

This school told me they'd worked so hard to manage this child, but whatever they did had no impact and nothing improved. I told them that I was sure that they'd worked hard, but, and here's a very important message... if you're not doing it right then all the hard work in the world isn't going to make it right. It's like digging a hole... you dig like mad, a really big hole - finished. You've worked so hard and been digging for ages. Then you discover you've dug the hole in the wrong place... Oops - all that hard work - totally wasted. A very inefficient use of energy...

To harness the right sort of energy when working in a classroom generally and when dealing with potentially challenging behaviour (and most children have the potential to become challenging if not managed effectively) you must have confidence in what you're doing. You have to have a repertoire of appropriate behaviour management techniques to call upon that you know will work. This isn't difficult to do... it's something you can easily learn.

The strategies are easy to read - they're simple to follow this way. Most of my behaviour advice is sent by email to schools. Then practise until the strategies become increasingly instinctive and use them consistently - all the time... that bit is very important. The more you practise the better you get...

Remember - when you plan to dig a hole, make sure it's where you want it to be...!!

Author Resource:

Liz Marsden, an expert practitioner in managing children's challenging behaviour in school, uses her expertise to train teachers, trainee teachers, teaching assistants and parents. Visit Liz's website where you can read about her strategies and her highly recommended book, Behaviour Bible offers invaluable advice. Read about her daily work in her own classes and mainstream schools.

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