In these times of overheated culture and trying economic conditions, we regularly get some ‘interesting’ questions about relationships. Many just fall in the ‘weird’ category and, while we answer them individually, we rarely dedicate the subject matter to an article - but some really hit the nail on the head.
One such question that is cropping up more often these days has to do with the issue of over-reaction or over-dedication to getting one’s Ex back. We are now referring to this as the Desperation Factor. This type of question is neither new nor alarming and its effects are also not new. However, it is the number of people who are asking that question that suggests that this is far from being casually queried.
The most remarkable characteristic of this trend is its total independence from normally skewed gender distribution. These kind of questions typically come from women over men - three to one. In this case, however, it is an almost even distribution of ‘askers’ in the male community. We believe that this is remarkable. Nonetheless, we are going to respond to the question. Knowing about these principles might, indeed, help to get your ex back without damaging you. If you are trying to recover a broken relationship, your chance to win your ex back, without damage will be heightened by knowing all these things.
We normally receive interest on this subject in the form of a question: Is it possible for me to want my Ex back too much? The obvious intent of the question is one of degree - i.e. the reference to the word ‘too’. Any extreme emotion - even the good ones - that are felt in the extreme can ultimately be a negative in one’s life.
We suggest the psychologist’s typical response routine when asked about anything taken to extremes. If your preponderance of dedication to get-back strategies - along with the degree to which you miss your Ex - combine to affect the normal execution of your daily life routines, then you are probably experiencing an emotional reaction which is beyond the safe level.
Loving and wanting your Ex back is never a bad thing unless and until they get to the point where they govern your entire life. This is the point at which your positive feelings can become negative ones - even dangerous. Many people allow this level of dedication to cause them to purposely over-stress on the matter, placing the issue front and center in their lives.
Women are often more guilty of this than men, wearing their overreaction as a mantel of extreme reflection to all the world. If you are attempting to get ex back from a breakup and the process has caused you psychological damage, take heed.
Our recommendation is that you take some time away from the process of reclaiming your lost love. Make yourself a promise that you are going to go for three days - 72 hours - without thinking or stressing over this issue. If you can do that, then we suggest defining a time budget for this activity. If you cannot control your degree of stress or the time spent on it then we suggest that you seek professional, psycho-emotional help.
Author Resource:
Author Resource:-> James Roberts is Senior Article Editor for What-Why-How researching and writing on numerous topics. To find out more you can click here .