So what are the signs of low self esteem? It could be someone in your family, or maybe a friend or co-worker, but if someone you love suffers from low self esteem, you need to know how to determine the signs.
We all go through those rough patches, or have been through these times when we aren't sure we can do something the right way. This is common during times of stress, where people under duress have a difficult time dealing with the everyday challenges in his/her life. But a person with high self esteem in that position will look at the situation and consider how it can be changed so that it is more manageable. But if your self esteem is low, you would usually react by getting down in the dumps and blaming yourself. Or sometimes, they will blame other people.
People who see themselves in a very low light would usually sell themselves (if they try to) in the most negative manner possible. They could describe themselves as the victim in any given situation. They would play the blame game, blaming and framing up others for the miserable situation they're in. Friends, family, anybody - just not their fault. Anybody's fault but theirs.
Oftentimes they don't realize that they're dodging accountability for their lives. It comes out of the belief that they do not have the ability or right to make themselves happy. They believe that their state of negativity is pre-determined and cannot be changed. While they want to genuinely feel good about things, the only way they know how is to blame other people.
If a person close to you is guilty of this self-destructive behavior, you can try helping them by advising them of areas they can work on to solve whatever their problems may be. Don't be surprised, though, if they decline, politely or not. They will find ways to make your ideas and suggestions look like folly. In that case, you can try telling them about their strengths and good points. They may not stop their whining immediately, but may be convinced to tone things down because they agree that you're not just giving them sweet talk.
Another one of the signs of low self esteem is a person who allows themselves to be used by others. This could be seen when the person tries too hard to please others, and would go out of their way to do things for them, no matter how unrealistic they may be. Unfortunately, people do not usually value those who are so eager to please. It's like the kid you knew in school who threw a big party and gave away all his goodies to his classmates. It may have sounded good at first, until you realized that he was trying to buy friends instead of make them - great way to set yourself up for years of abuse, instead of years of friendship!
"-Holics" - people addicted to something (not necessary alcohol), people dissatisfied with life and those who hop from partner to partner or job to job suffer from obvious signs of low self esteem. People with low self esteem are very likely to take the easy way out of a challenging situation. They do not believe that they have the power to improve their lives, so rather than facing up to a challenge in a job, for example, they will look for another job. Instead of making adjustments so a certain relationship would work, they keep looking for a (literally) perfect partner even if no such person exists.
Fortunately, there are many ways to improve a low self esteem. The decision to change lies in our hands. It is often just a matter of acknowledging that there is a problem and that we do have the power to change how we think. If this sounds like you, recognize these signs of low self esteem and start making a change.
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