My phone rang very early one morning, something I was not expecting since I was in my office well before usual business hours.
Startled by the ring, I answered. Detecting a sense of desperation from the caller, I allowed her to vent until she was ready to hear me speak.
It was at this point, I asked a question which I believe became the turning point for her recovery. The question was, "What part of the clutter are you willing to take ownership of?"
It is not uncommon when someone is faced with insurmountable amounts of clutter to place blame on everyone or anything, as long as it isn't them. The reason being, I believe, is because it can be very painful for them to accept responsibility that they could be the source of their own demise.
From my experience, I have witnessed countless times, clients who try to maintain control over their clutter, failing to recognize that they are powerless over something that is virtually bigger than them. Until their level of denial is penetrated, excuses will be part and parcel. It is when a person can accept the reality of what their clutter is about; a by-product or symptom of something else, the clutter will cease to manifest.
There have been critical times, right before work will commence or a contract needs to be signed, that a person will reject or find fault with something, in order to stay still in there mess. The contentment of their clutter is far more comforting then the prospect of clearing out the chaos.
This is the time that understanding and patience is required. It is not always easy, if I do say so myself, especially when hours of time have been invested before hand, but never the less, it is in the client's best interest not to pursue action, since it will only lead to unsuccessful attempts.
The culprit here is accountability. It is difficult to sustain this when we are not really sure of who we are. Realizing that it is in our own best interest to reach a better understanding of ourselves, as I refer to as one of the KISN (Keep It Simple Now) Principles, "Know Thyself" will we then be ready to proceed with the task of de-cluttering.
One of the ways to break this cycle is to participate in support groups, sign up for workshops and engage in coaching programs that have an emphasis on clutter education. This way, a foundation is laid and ground work is completed before entering into a formal commitment of the de-cluttering process.
As I have always maintained, baby steps are the way to changing behavioral patterns and allows for small victories. In the long run, it is the person who is consistent that triumphs over their clutter and celebrates their successes.
Author Resource:
Patricia Diesel, The Organizing Expert, is author of A Simple Guide to an Organized life and CEO of Keep It Simple Now. Patricia provides professional organizing and life coaching to individuals, entrepreneurs, and corporate arenas. Accomplishments, services, merchandise, and additional information about Patricia can be found at http://www.keepitsimplenow.com .
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