Coping with the aftermath is difficult when you've strayed from your partner and cheated or had an affair. Going through the reactions of your spouse is not the only thing to deal with but also your personal emotions. You need to work out how you feel about the problem in order to manage your relationship better because it is difficult to cope with your spouse's reactions. Own the issues that you created when you had an affair.
Are you prepared to admit your mistake and then try to fix this relationship? If you're not truly in love with your spouse, maybe a larger change awaits. But straying doesn't necessarily mean that you want to end the relationship. The first thing to take into consideration is to forget about the reasons why you've strayed. If you knew then what you know now, would you do it again? They are over the past so there's no other way to change what you have done already.
At this stage, a lot of people feel completely guilt about their behavior. If you want to be forgiven by your spouse, you must forgive yourself first. This concept runs parallel to how you think of yourself; how can anyone else think that you're beautiful if you don't think you are? Once you can forgive yourself, you open the gates to allow forgiveness from your spouse. In addition, what makes your situation healthier if you will keep on hanging onto your guilt? It doesn't mean that when you let go of your guilt you are offering less emotion to your partner, that simply means you're getting over it and moving forward into an area where you can positively help your relationship.
Don't assume that you will gain the trust right away, that's the fact that you should embrace. You should have made different choices in the past if you desire to have trust in the relationship. You have to understand your spouse whenever she's acting like you're doing something suspicious. It may take years for your spouse to get over this anxiety, and they may never get over it. The only thing that you can do is commit to being patient, understanding, and comforting when your spouse has those anxious feelings. What do you do to help your spouse overcome the matter? Getting defensive will immediately place you to the spot where you were caught to be cheating. You need to help your spouse to find emotional closure. You'll have to do whatever it takes until your partner finds it. If it requires you checking in with your spouse multiple times a day, then do it. It will require you being where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, until your spouse can trust you again.
If you are really determined to make things right then see your relationship as a fresh start with your spouse. Being a good partner deserves a great partner. You should realize that the existence of the people around you is not worth to be wounded because every life is sacred.