If you decide to get married, you may not only get a new partner for life, but step children that will become part of your family. Of course, all children are different coming from different backgrounds and situations, but the tips presented here will more than likely provide some help. The strategies that follow will help you learn how to interact with your new step children on a daily basis.
The main criteria in establishing the interaction between your step-kids and you will be determined by how old they are. The chances are good that a baby or toddler is not even going to remember their biological parent and will consider you their natural parent. You have to be prepared for this responsibility when you get involved in such a situation. You may find yourself cast in the role of a friend, or advisor, more so than of a substitute parent if your step-kids are older. In the case of teenagers, your partner will probably retain most of the responsibilities as a parent, with you in a supporting role. The dynamics of your new family unit will not be the same as any other family and the age of your stepchildren will, in a large part, define your role with them. Dealing with your own family is one thing; dealing with your role as a step parent can be much more difficult. Depending upon how difficult the situation becomes, you might want to consider joining a local help group for step parents. With the advent of the Internet, hooking up with people with similar issues has never been easier. Though they will lend you a helping hand, your new spouse should not become your crutch to lean on every time things get rough. Being a step parent may be tricky at first, but with the help of your local support group, your role can feel natural. You might also want to look at your local community colleges for adult education classes that are geared for step parents.
There's one issue that may not seem like a big deal, but can still cause tension and discomfort in a new family situation. The problem is what your new stepchildren will call you. You shouldn't expect or ask them to call you "Mom" or "Dad," as this is something that will probably make them uncomfortable. Replacing the parent of the children that is no longer there is not your job, nor should it be implied by any actions or decisions you make. Many children will take quite a bit of time to call you mom or dad, an issue that you should not push or expect from them right away. Calling you by your first name should be their name for you until they become more comfortable with you in their lives. We've given you some hints on how to make the transition to a stepparent as easy as possible. Just remember, being a stepparent is not easy, but eventually everything will work out. Since every family is a little different, you shouldn't approach the situation with any expectations. Just remember to be as available and supportive to your stepchildren as possible and, more importantly, don't make them feel pressured or obligated to accept you. You'll just have to be patient and endeavor each day to do your personal best. They'll come around when they are ready.
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