The holidays are over and there were plenty of new experiences a voiceless person should hear about. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to be in a group conversation without slowing down the “flow” of the topic. While at the dinner table, my note pad and pencil were impractical; my text to talk was too slow to be involved in a normal conversation being discussed. If there was a heated debate going on, by the time a comment was typed out, the conversation was way down the road on a different topic. So how did this make me feel? Not good. It made me realize …again… that not having a voice requires a different set of rules and procedures.
It was frustrating and did make me angry because there was so much to say that would have made a significant contribution to the conversation. So what do you do? How do you participate in the conversation with being handicapped by not being able to converse at a normal pace, even though many times when emotions are running high, it is a fast conversation. You don’t do anything at that moment. It is not possible (if you have some ideas on how to, let me know). So I started thinking ahead on a topic that might be related to what is being discussed. When I saw a slight lull in the conversation, I would raise my hand, wave the napkin or elbow the person next to me…anything to get the attention of the group. I would then type out my statement or question to be heard and play it. There were plenty of thoughts generated and the discussion continued. If a comment was made that deserved my input, I would hold up my hand to get their attention and make another comment. What this did was slow the conversation down; points were made, and once again, involved in the conversation.
Now the fact is, it is not the same, never will be. Get over it. You can, however, participate if effort is put forth. If thoughts are provocative enough, a question or statement you can’t resist commenting on will be made and … BOOM.. you are back in! It is a compromise for sure, and not what you are use to being able to do. It is a hell of a lot better than just shoving food in your mouth or sitting there as if you were one of the table decorations. Get involved. This is another fact; I have a very supportive family around me. Even with that comforting situation, it is still necessary to insist on being heard. People forget about your situation or are so involved in themselves, you are simply overlooked. We all know how that feels. And, if you dwell on it too much in your mind, you will become frustrated, depressed and begin developing a low self esteem … thinking how unfortunate you are for this terrible, forced situation. If that happens, you are left out and your problems only multiply. I have done that, and still do! It is a constant battle to manage those feelings and to be positive, productive and fold into the fabric of society. There are times you have to be bold!
You can do it. It does require effort, forethought, tools to help, and a desire to participate in life in a more fulfilling way. It is not easy, but the rewards also happen to be significant…mentally. Plus, you do make a contribution in the conversation or what ever you are participating in. It takes effort and energy, but the alternative is not something to embrace.
If you have a note pad and pencil, use them. If you need software for computer to text to talk, get it. If you need a portable talking device, find one.
Your situation will NOT change unless YOU change it. Each time you try, it is one step closer to having a more fun filled, rewarding life. What you say does make a difference. How you “say it” is not as important. You have a brain so use it. Effort is required to be able to communicate. If rules need to be changed, then change them. You have been catapulted from the talking herd by not being able to talk. Now take advantage of it. Be productive for others as well as to yourself by what you have to say. See your limitations as just an obstacle to overcome. People were rude before you lost your voice (that might have included you!). That is not going to change. Your increased sensitivity does help. You now focus on relevant issues. You perceive the meaning of what is being said quicker. However, if your mind is on “poor me” you will miss the meaning, as apposed to what is being verbalized. Become an expert at “reading between the lines”. Your response, although shorter and not as frequent, will be targeted and much more interesting, specific and thought provoking.
Give this some thought. It is too difficult to sit around a table or a group and not participate. So, don’t let it happen.
Author Resource:
Ted Holcomb is a cancer survivor due to extensive radiation lost his voice 3 years ago. The blog http://www.ListenToMeToday.com was developed to give a non-clinical insight on living in today's busy world without having a voice to communicate.His straight forward pull no punches resonates with many people.
![[Valid RSS feed]](http://www.look4articles.com/images/icon_Rss.png "XML Feed For RSS"){kind=icon}
Category Rss Feed
Print This Article
Add To Favorites
![[Valid RSS feed]](http://www.look4articles.com/images/rss.jpg "XML Feed For RSS")