There is a school of thought in the pick up artist community that being a jerk actually helps you get women.
Don’t fall for it.
I think this stems from the fact that the nice guys often feel like they end up last and that the women always fall for the jerks. I can’t explain this phenomenon, but I can tell you that acting like a jerk is only going to end in your own misery.
If you truly want to be a successful pick up artist and have scores of beautiful, intelligent, amazing women after you, then you need to listen up. To be a great pickup artist, you need to remember a few character traits and either try to develop them or hold on tight to the ones you have. They are easy: Act with honesty and integrity in all your dealings with other people.
And I don’t just mean the women you want to date. I’m talking about acting with honesty and integrity when you are dealing with the cabbie, with the pizza delivery guy, with the older gentleman sitting on the park bench, with the CEO or your company, with the woman who hands you your dry cleaning. Everyone. Do it until it becomes second nature to you.
Here’s what you don’t do. Don’t treat anyone – and I mean anyone – rudely. I don’t care how rude they are to you; you take the higher ground and are the bigger man. It will pay off in the long run. Defend yourself if you need to, but never lose your cool. Walk away if you can, but if you can’t then don’t resort to juvenile behavior. Keep your cool and stick to your guns.
Whatever you do, ignore the pickup artist advice to put a woman down to make yourself appear superior to her. That is a load of baloney. Doing this only shows how insecure you truly are. And frankly, what kind of man wants a woman who thinks it is OK for a man to talk to her that way or treat her that way? You are only looking for trouble.
Put out the behavior to others that you want to receive back. Eventually, it will pay off.
I think the difference between acting like a nice guy and being a push over is key here. Sometimes people say nice guys finish last but they aren’t really talking about nice guys, they are talking about pushovers. People who don’t have enough self esteem let other people treat them badly. This is a pushover. A truly nice guy won’t end up last if he has boundaries and standards for how he should be treated and moves on when his standards aren’t met.
You can still be a nice guy and insist that a woman treat you with respect. If she doesn’t return your calls or flirts with other men on your dates or whatever doesn’t meet your high standards, then don’t hesitate to say goodbye. Know your expectations and standards ahead of time and when someone doesn’t mean them, move on. This is how you end up being the nice guy who will never finish last.
Author Resource:
Bill Preston has been studying personal development and dating advice for the past 5 years and is a guest instructor at the top Pick Up Artist Boot camp in NYC. He loves sharing his experience and expertise with other men looking to improve their lives. Find out more at http://www.puaforums.com
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