The Internet has turn out to be the hot new place for smart, eligible people to find romance, and those searching for love are swarming into cyberspace. Because of this, relationships are started with people who are virtual strangers.
As the web expands into human relationships and dating, it is in your best interest to exercise caution. Common sense can go a long way to keep you safe. Here are some tips for playing it safe:
All that glitters is not necessarily gold.
Start by first communicating solely by electronic mail or online chat. Watch out for weird behavior or inconsistent pattern as you communicate online. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag. Although online, try to 'listen' to his or her words. Always keep in mind that the other party might not be what they say they are. Have faith in your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Do the CIA check and get as much info as you can.
Be as inquisitive as you can. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected to his community. These are clues to finding out who this person really is. Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. As you ask your questions, if you see that there is hesitancy in getting the answers, be careful. At all times err on the side of safety.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately. In the online world, it is so easy to say you look like Jolie when you are not . Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital status and physical appearance. Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If the other side does not want to send a picture, it's not a red flag but a warning sign. If you don't get that picture after making several requests, then it's yet another red flag. Having a scanned photo is easily available, so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. After you have exchanged pictures, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It's worth it to call since you can continue to get a more complete profile. Try to be stingy on giving out your phone to anybody you are not comfortable with. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you give your phone number.
Don't rush into anything.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. You have to follow the investigation process before you do a face to face. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. Remember that if your gut instinct is not right, do not hesitate to walk away and move on to the next candidate.
If there are no red flags and you decide to meet, just proceed with care and dictate the terms of the initial meeting. The following is a guide to ensure that you have a safe encounter:
Before you go out with someone new, it is important to get as much information as you can about the person you will meet.
1. Always ask for a full name, address, and telephone number before agreeing to go out with someone you have never met.
2. Never go out with someone who will only give you a pager or work phone number. (Probability is high that a wife might be at home.)
3. When someone gives his or her phone number, find a reason to call unexpectedly. This may help you to find out if she is married or he is living with someone.
4. Call him at work too, just to verify if information you got is accurate to begin with
The closer you get to that first date, the more caution is in order. Be in control when setting up the date and try not to let the other side change the arrangements. You need to spend time first with your date before you let them control the conditions.
1. Make sure a friend or anyone close to you knows where you are going and when you will be back from this first date. Leave your date's full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down. For a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you are going and all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at smartdate-dot-com. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Protect yourself!
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with on your first date. Stay near other people in a lighted area. Go out for coffee, make it casual, it's a good and safe way to test the waters.
3. Very important - Do not let him pick you up where your live. For obvious reasons, letting a stranger know where you live is not to your best interest. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you about him or herself. This is like an audit, it you find he lied online, move on.
5. For the same reason you do not want to be picked up at home on the first date, do not let him drop you off. You do not know this person. Let your common sense rule.
Exercise caution. Be in control. Know what you are getting into before you invest your heart, money, or your life. As in both your professional and personal life, information is the key!
Author Resource:
Ashley works in technology at an investment banking firm and has been in the rat race for the past 10 years. In an effort to save her sanity, she has gotten into IM, setting up an eclectic collection of sites such as providing info on how to have an affair to setting up a Wireless Security Camera System
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