Cyberspace is now the new hangout when it comes to finding romance or just hooking up . Because of this, relationships are started with people who are virtual strangers.
As the web expands into human relationships and dating, it is in your best interest to exercise caution. Trust your instincts and use your common sense. Check out these basic guidelines to ensure you are safe:
All that glitters is not necessarily gold.
Start by first communicating solely by email or online chat. Be vigilant in noticing unusual behavior or inconsistencies. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag. "Pay attention" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Go with your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Information on the person is key.
Be as inquisitive as you can. Do a check list on your side to get basic info on stuff like where he works or where he grew up. These are clues to finding out who this individual really is. If you notice uncertainty in giving personal info, then that is a red flag. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. As you ask your questions, if you see that there is hesitancy in getting the answers, be careful. Continue with a great deal of caution.
It is best to be honest from the get go.
You should describe yourself as accurately as you can. In the online world, it is so easy to say you look like Jolie when you are not . Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital status and physical appearance. You can start by exchanging pics. If someone is unwilling to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If you don't get that picture after making several requests, then it's yet another red flag. Having a scanned photo is easily available, so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. When you have each other's pics, continue to get more info so that both side will have an accurate total picture. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. Try to be stingy on giving out your phone to anybody you are not comfortable with. Take your time to see if a trusting bond is there. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you give your phone number.
Take your time, take your time.
Setting up a date after just meeting someone online is both stupid and dangerous. You have to follow the investigation process before you do a face to face. If you feel you are being pressured, then it's another red flag. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time to back away and look for another match.
If there are no red flags and you decide to meet, just proceed with care and dictate the terms of the first meeting. Try to follow these guidelines to ensure your safety:
1. Make sure a friend or anyone close to you knows where you are going and when you will be back from this first date. Make sure you give them your date's full name and contact numbers just in case. There are also websites these days, like smartdatedotcom, where you can register dating information such as these, for a small fee. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Your safety above all else!
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with on your first date. It must be where there are other folks and preferably well lit. Go out for coffee, make it casual, it's a good and safe way to test the waters.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. For obvious reasons, letting a stranger know where you live is not to your best interest. Try to have your own transportation, so if it does not work, your exit strategy is simpler.
4. On this first date, reconcile what your date told you online to see if he was honest to begin with. If you find out that your date has lied about anything, this is another red flag.
5. For the same reason you do not want to be picked up at home on the first date, do not let him drop you off. You do not know this person. Let your common sense rule.
Exercise caution. Be in control. Always think ahead before you invest your time and emotion on this exercise. Information about the other person is the key!
Author Resource:
James is a retiree who used to work in technology at an investment banking firm. In an effort to save his sanity and to avoid turning into a raving alcoholic, while at the same time make some pocket money on the side, he has gotten into IM, setting up an eclectic collection of sites, such as providing info on how to have an affair to other adult dating web sites.
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