The Web has turn out to be the hot new place for smart, eligible people to find romance, and those searching for love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have begun relationships online with people they have not met and know little about.
With so many people communicating via the Net and deciding to date virtual strangers, it is critical to be safe and be smart. Trust your instincts and use your common sense. Check out these basic guidelines to make sure you are safe:
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating solely by email or online chat. Be on your guard in noticing unusual behavior or inconsistencies. If you notice evasive signs, your radar should flag it. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The individual at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If it does not feel right at the beginning, walk away.
Get as much intel as you can.
Learn to ask many questions. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected to his community. These are clues to finding out who this person really is. If you notice hesitancy in giving personal info, then that is a red flag. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. Continue with a great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or deceiving is easy on the web. Be honest about the basic things such as marital status and how you look. Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone is unwilling to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If you don't get that picture after making a number of requests, then it's yet another red flag. In today's digital age, coming up with a photo is a no brainer. After you have exchanged pictures, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Take it to the next level by talking on the phone.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. Try to be stingy on giving out your phone to anybody you are not comfortable with. Take your time to see if a trusting bond is there. Give them your phone number only when you gain that feeling of comfort.
Don't rush into anything.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time to back away and look for another match.
If you make a decision to meet for a date, proceed with caution and arrange the meeting on your terms. Try to follow these tips to ensure your safety:
1. Make sure a friend or anyone close to you knows where you are going and when you will be back from this first date. Make sure you give them your date's full name and contact numbers just in case. There are also websites these days, like smartdatedotcom, where you can register dating information such as these, for a small fee. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Your safety above all else!
2. Keep the location of the first date in a public place. Stay near other people in a lighted area. Go out for coffee, make it casual, it's a good and safe way to test the waters.
3. Very important - Do not let him pick you up where your live. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you about him or herself. This is like an audit, it you find he lied online, move on.
5. For the same reason you do not want to be picked up at home on the first date, do not let him drop you off. You do not know this person. Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use in any type of dating relationship.
Exercise caution. Take control of your future. Always think ahead before you invest your time and emotion on this exercise. As in both your professional and personal life, information is the key!
Author Resource:
James is a retiree who used to work in technology at an investment banking firm. In an effort to save his sanity and to avoid turning into a raving alcoholic, while at the same time make some pocket money on the side, he has gotten into IM, setting up an eclectic collection of sites, such as providing info on how to have an affair to other adult dating web sites.
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