Cyberspace is now the new hangout when it comes to finding romance or just hooking up . Because of this, relationships are started with people who are virtual strangers.
As the web expands into human relationships and dating, it is in your best interest to exercise caution. Trust your instincts and use your common sense. Here are some tips for playing it safe:
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating solely by email or online chat. Watch out for weird behavior or inconsistent pattern as you communicate online. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag. "Pay attention" to your correspondent's words. The individual at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Go with your instincts. If you are not comfortable at the start, the best thing is to walk right away.
Find out as much information as you can.
Learn to ask many questions. Do a check list on your side to get basic info on things like where he works or where he grew up. You will be like Columbo trying to find out a person's profile. Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. At all times err on the side of safety.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or misleading is easy online. Areas to be particularly careful about are marital status and physical appearance. Start with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone is unwilling to send a recent picture, this is warning sign. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that person has something to hide. In today's digital age, coming up with a picture is a no brainer. After you have exchanged pictures, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent.
A phone call can tell a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out your phone number to a stranger. Take your time to see if a trusting bond is there. Give them your phone number only when you gain that feeling of comfort.
Don't rush into anything.
Setting up a date after just meeting someone online is both stupid and dangerous. You have to follow the investigation process before you do a face to face. If you feel you are being pressured, then it's another red flag. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time to back away and look for another match.
If you make a decision to meet for a date, proceed with caution and arrange the meeting on your terms. Try to follow these guidelines to ensure your safety:
1. Make sure a friend or anyone close to you knows where you are going and when you will be back from this first date. Leave your date's full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down. For a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you are going and all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at smartdate-dot-com. If your first date wants to keep things confidential, then, big red flag! Time to walk away. Your safety above all else!
2. Keep the location of the first date in a public place. It must be where there are other folks and preferably well lit. Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way to get to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe. Try to have your own transportation, so if it does not work, your exit strategy is simpler.
4. On this first date, reconcile what your date told you online to see if he was honest to begin with. This is like an audit, it you find he lied online, move on.
5. For the same reason you do not want to be picked up at home on the first date, do not let him drop you off. You do not know this person. Let your common sense rule.
Be smart and be safe. Be in control. Always think ahead before you invest your time and emotion on this exercise. Information about the other person is the key!
Author Resource:
Lakshmi is a student who has a couple of more years to go in school. In an effort to make some money on the side, she has gotten into IM, promoting a random collection of sites, such as providing guidelines on how to have an affair in addition to adult dating web sites.
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