Love is Not a Feeling. What? You exclaim, in fact, love may be a feeling. I feel it in my chest, stomach and my body tingles sometimes. Yes, those are the physiological manifestations when one has the feeling of 'falling in love.'
Falling in love and love are two totally different phenomena. Falling in love will be either a flash of emotions or a first step towards genuine love. "Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; it is a state of awareness, a manner of being in the world, a approach of seeing oneself and others." -David R. Hawkins
Falling in love could be a sturdy instinctive attraction to a person. If it's mutual and each individuals work at their relationship; someday that euphoric experience referred to as, 'falling in love,' can grow into real love.
The falling in love phenomena is the decision of 1's longing to belong, to cathect, but the article is instinctually chosen according to our ideals, dreams and etc., though one might not realize it. We have a tendency to usually fall in love with the person's appearance, with the way she/he walks, the approach he/she talks. Typically we have a tendency to impute to our object of affection some mystic illusion, ideal qualities and the a lot of we tend to get to know the person the less we fall for him or her. That is when the feeling of love disappears even faster than it appeared.
The more two persons get to understand each different, the more comfy they get; the less sharp, bright and exciting the falling in love experience is. Some couples continue their relationships and get married; some fall apart. It's affordable to say that a lot of garments within the closet and yet one more toothbrush in the toilet is the end of the falling in love part, however it conjointly will be the start of genuine love.
The euphoric feelings we call 'love' is that the emotion that accompanies the experience of cathecting. Cathecting is the method by that an object becomes vital to a person. Once cathected, the item, often known as a 'love object' is invested with our energy as if it were a part of oneself, and this relationship between oneself and therefore the invested object is termed a cathexis. One's cathexis may be fleeting and momentary. Real love implies commitment and exercise of wisdom. When one is worried for someone's religious and emotional growth, one is aware of that a lack of commitment is seemingly to be harmful and that commitment to that person is most likely necessary for one to manifest one's concern effectively. The priority and commitment to a different's spiritual and emotional growth is the purest form of love. It's for this reason that commitment is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship-friends, vital others, husband/wife.
Genuine love transcends the matter of cathexis. When love exists it will thus with or without cathexis and with or while not a loving feeling-those bursts of butterflies within the stomach, body tingling, etc.
It's easier-indeed, it is exhilarating-to like with cathexis and the euphoric feeling of love. But, it is possible to like without cathexis and without loving feelings, and it is within the achievement of this chance that real and transcendent love is distinguished from straightforward cathexis. Genuine love is volitional rather than euphorically emotional. The one who actually loves does so as a result of of 'a call to love.' This person has made a commitment to 'be loving,' whether or not or not the loving feelings are present.
It will be difficult and painful to search for proof of affection in one's actions, however because true love is an act of will that transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it will be said, "Love is as love does." Love and non-love, as smart and evil, are objective and not purely subjective phenomena.
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Carey Howard has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Love, you can also check out his latest website about: